Friday, 8 August 2008

An awkward post

As this does deal with physical matters rather more than usual so anyone who doesn’t want to know some – well, a lot - of the more intimate details about yours truly, look away now… but if you would like to, please click the link to read more.

Well, here goes…

I like to think of myself as a versatile chap. When I was younger I tended to take a more passive role but with time and especially since coming out I have become more active. With the guys I’ve been in, at whatever level, a relationship with I have tended to take on one ‘role’ more than others. With Darren and John Q Pigdog I was more passive, but with Harry and Mark I was more active.

I enjoy virtually every aspect of having sex with a man, whether ‘top’ or ‘bottom’; and frankly straight men don’t know what they’re missing. And I fear I am what is known as – this is where my blushes begin – a size queen, and I genuinely prefer anal sex to any other form. But one of the things that I have found with my bed-hopping episodes (and this is double plus blush time because I hate guys who go on about this kind of thing) is that, being (I’m told) somewhat gifted myself, occasionally I have met guys who have politely declined the full range of bedroom antics, or given up after a valiant attempt. It’s mainly OK though, as while sex is to me a hugely important part of being with someone I am happiest when my partner, however casual, has enjoyed themselves to the full and reciprocation isn’t always key.

Anyway, the point of this post is not to boast, but to ‘think out loud’ about this problem now that it has occurred with Gareth. Gareth and I spent Thursday night together after meeting as arranged. It seems I wore him down! But I’ll discuss that in the next post. In the meantime, although we still had a great time, it seems this is an area where some careful planning will have to be done. Of course there are options in terms of position, foreplay, more appropriate lube… in theory there could be poppers but I hate them and have never allowed them to be part of my sex-life before.

I am keen to build a relationship with him and this is another aspect we’ll have to work on I suppose. Certainly Gareth has proven himself to be a versatile guy, and because I put sex quite at the centre of a relationship (amongst other things) I hope it won’t be a major stumbling block.



PinkExpat said...

First, it must have taken some guts to publish this post, so well done you for doing so.

I am sure that there are many websites that deal with this issue - you will probably have had a little google already.

I think the most important thing here is communication. Sex is an important part of most relationships and problems with sex can often cause relationships to end, whereas without this sort of problem, the relationship may be fine.

You need to be honest with each other about your sexual needs. You need to work together to find a good solution/compromise to this problem. In the end, you want the sex to be the best it can because it is such a powerful way of deepening the feelings you have for each other.

Good luck.

Monty said...

Ummm, I'm a little bit confused - are you saying that you're "gifted" in that you're naturally endowed? And that being the case, you being a "size queen", does that mean you prefer to bottom with "naturally endowed" guys? "wearing Gareth out" - am I to assume that you're topping him and he's not used to such a "naturally endowed" gentleman and hence, getting worn out? :-)

czechOUT said...

so good, we got it twice


so good we got it twice