Duality

After getting more exceedingly good advice I decided to send a follow up message to Gareth so that (a) he wouldn’t think I am so angry things can’t be fixed and (b) to ensure that he really does know how I feel – I was pretty sure he knows but he claims not to have received the emails I sent him and so on so a lot of the evidence is [conveniently] lost to the ether:

Hi. I know I said in my last [message] that I’d wait to hear from you – and after this I will – but I realised you may not know how much I like you and how much I enjoy being with you. Which is lots! Till Sunday x

Well, nothing ventured, nothing gained. I have some fight left in me, gentle reader, but not for a hopeless cause. So Till Sunday!!

On Friday I went to Oxford to meet a guy I’d been chatting to for a while on OUT. For a non-dating website that really has thrown my way a lot of prospects! In truth his pictures were pretty dreamy and it kind of evolved into a date as we made our plans. I arrived a bit early so I wandered a bit and did the touristy thing. It was a relatively summery afternoon, and the dreaming spires were beautiful indeed (hence the pics).

He and I met, and had a couple of drinks, and he showed me a few more interesting sights in the town, and we happened – by pure coincidence, to be sure - on a gay bar (a converted Tudor townhouse painted pink with a rainbow flag hanging above the door and burlesque statues dotted around the outside. Not subtle!). Once settled in there, there were muches-smooches indeedy. So much so I now have quite a rash around my face as he hadn’t shaved. And we pretty much agreed that intelligent cute guys who made him feel relaxed and made him laugh are pretty OK; and that tall, slim, beautiful academics with blue eyes I could drown in are just fine too. And perhaps best of all, though I was all for a 'Rule Two' by this point [so what else is new?], was his insistence on a strict adherence to Rule One, which has all but guaranteed a date two…

Of course that didn’t stop him kissing me all the way back to the train station which was mighty fine indeed.

Maybe I should wait for Gareth to make up his mind; or come to terms with his mind; or whatever it is – maybe I should give myself a break. But I play by my own rules, nobody else’s; not even my own. And I do go out with dudes.