Happy New Year

The final post of 2008, and here I am. Out at last! The premise of this blog has changed somewhat from that I first intended – and it seems strangely a long time since I started, so in love was I, to write about my favourite topic - me!

Now, after a naughty but nice nine months what will we make with 2009? In many ways I’m keen for a completely fresh start. I’m going part time at work so for the first time my business is no longer a side-line but a crucial element of my income. I’m in a strange relationship limbo – is something ending, is something beginning, do we still have to keep one foot on the floor at all times? But whilst the search for Mr Right continues I’ve had a lot of… fun this year and I’m not entirely keen for that to stop! Who or whatever is out there, I am also going to put an emphasis on Me in 2009 in other ways – building my business, looking after myself better, being the best person I can be whether or not He is at the end of the rainbow.

I suppose we’ll have to see how it goes. I’m healthier and happier than ever before and there are definitely worse ways of ending a year. Great friends, and good times; lots of new experiences, and lots of new opportunities. Yes, there have been tough times and I’ve been silly, stupid, and downright ignorant probably. But that’s all part of it; I’m a lucky guy.

Now though, it’s time to stop drifting… the motto for 2009 is: Carpe Annum!

A friend commented recently about his worry that with all these assignations I was putting myself in danger. That clarified in my mind the fact that never once sleeping around had I a bad time. The guy I should have been safe with repaid me with… well, nothing says I love you like a hairline fracture ;-) No wonder the year ended better than it started. I really for the first time enjoy being me and I’m just starting to get a sense of self worth. The only thing that hurts me is when people think I’m less than who I am; the only time I hurt myself is by being less than who I could be.

I hope you had a great 2008 gentle reader; and more than that I hope that 2009 is better yet. Happy New Year to you.

Onward and upward

Wow! It is so busy at work it is unreal. 8 till 6 and no lunch… we can but hope things ease up soon. But I won’t bore you with that today gentle reader, oh no. For there are other things afoot.

This evening I had another counselling session and today’s theme was ‘being gay’. My counsellor wanted to explore my earliest sexual experiences. Unfortunately I was in a very reticent mood and not willing to discuss in detail. I think it had been a long day. So he kept trying to prompt me and things got more disturbing by the second. No, I was not 13; no he was not in the navy… nasty. He did, however, also want to talk a lot about International and he remains resolute that three months is very little time really and I should keep seeing other men if I want too. Poor International! The whole world rails against my self-enforced monogamy. Yet monogamous I remain.

My counsellor also keeps going on about how gorgeous I am which, whilst undoubtedly true (honest Guv’), is going a bit above and beyond the call and has begun to make me somewhat uncomfortable. On the plus side, however, he assures me one day my prince will come – and I contrarily argue that I must accept the possibility that he might not (not wishing to assume International is said prince).

Tomorrow International is whisking me off for a surprise of some sort. I think I’ve guessed what it is; but I shall reveal all later. It certainly involves something outdoors. How intriguing! How exciting. It’s nice that he’s planning something spontaneous and romantic. N-one;s ever done that before for me. It has me all a-quiver.

And Thursday I have a client, hurrah. I doubt a high paying one but the work they want me to do is embarrassingly light and at least I shall have something to put in my brand-spanking-new business account. This will give me a reason to leave the office early; which will also allow me to pick up my wine order which has finally arrived. Any fans of Management Buzzword Bingo will cringe at phrases like ‘synergy’ but when it works…

And Friday, a good friend’s leaving do – jumping the same ship I did a few months ago. I foresee a good time will be had by all, and that Saturday will be a very miserable day indeed ;-)

A week on today is the three month anniversary. This means International is officially my second longest lasting boyfriend ever. I’m wondering whether to do something to mark it. Month one was Spain; month two was his birthday. This time it’s Christmas. Well, I shall wait for inspiration to strike. In the meantime a well deserved glass of wine for and the never ever-lasting embrace of my bed…

Fame and Fortune

Ho ho ho! Today I got my new business bank account sorted. I’m so pleased! The business-manager type who dealt with me was very nice and seemed genuinely supportive of my modest aspirations – how much of this was hyperbole I can never know, although she did go as far as researching marketing techniques for businesses of my type, to help me; in my view going above and beyond the call of duty. I suspect my efforts to prepare properly for the appointment helped break the ice too though; preparation is the key!

Now I have lots of new toys and brochures and packs of literature to play with at home which, in my credulity, I quite like (I have a stationery fetish too).

In the meantime I also had a haircut; and cleaned* the apartment; and I got loads of work done; AND I flirted with International, as is my custom. Frumpella the Double Plus Efficient Fairy today!

Yes I’m glad it’s done, gentle reader, because even if I meet the never so modest income forecasts from my small business then I should be able to eventually fund the love-nest of International and I… the one in my dreams that is… and happy ever after we shall be. That contentment may be such a burden! *sigh*

In the meantime, tonight I enjoy some baroque music, and a glass or three of nice new-world Colombard in anticipation of the time – Thursday (and via the pretence of an overrunning meeting at the European Commission) - that I see International again. It has been too long since he told me he loves me; I am anxious to hear those words again. Tomorrow it is back to the office, and who can say what workload awaits? Though I remain hopeful of cocktails in the evening.

And, as even I am moved to shift my traditional not-until-Christmas-eve humbug stance, (alongside Christmas coming too early I also disapprove of the saxophone and mustard) I leave you with this carol, which I find rather lovely…