Thursday, 1 May 2008

You can't travel faster than light

Are you sure?

For now let ‘H’ be Harry. Harry is a doctor, half British half Iraqi, over here after much of his family was killed in the ethnic squabbles that have overtaken the cradle of civilisation since 2003. What remains of his family is mostly in Jordan, but he still has some family in Baghdad and he talks about the life they have and he had there like it is the most normal thing in the world… I suppose, sadly, it is.

Harry and I went to dinner tonight; afterward we went to a bar for a couple of drinks and during the time we were together talked about many things, including;

  • moving in together;
  • getting married;
  • being together forever.

I think it’s a case of being so comfortable together that we can talk about all of those things, but God knows that’s really fast. Not that I was uncomfortable with it at all, although I did try to get across my view that we should see how we go and if we end up turning round in 50 fantastic years and saying “well, we never did get round to getting married” then that’s OK too. But he’s so romantic, and the way he described over dinner being together forever nearly made me ask for the bill right then. And it taught me I'm a nervous eater!

Still, should I pull back for the sake of appearances? I mean, if it feels right then we should go for it, yes? Actually I recognise the need to be at least a bit careful; I haven’t (fear not) quite abandoned the lesson I learnt not so very long ago. But Harry is definitely someone who knows what he wants, whether it is from his career, his life, or his boyfriend.

So where we are is that we are in a relationship, and it’s going to be exclusive. That’s fine by me as I really have no eyes for, no interest in someone else anyway.

Where we also are is (fly meets ointment: part one) my being measured against the yardstick of the dreaded ex. That’s OK, in a way that it really isn’t, but I’m quite clear and up-front about the fact I am not your ex! Example:

H: “are you on MSN?”
M: (thinking ‘Oi oi!!’) “why, yes. Yes I am” [flutters eyelashes]
H “my ex was always on MSN flirting with other men”
M [pause] “Yeah, but I’m not your ex.”
Divers alarums ensue

Yet, on the other had, he wants to take me to Paris in July, he’s threatened to pay me a special visit in the office, and he can’t resist tickling me. So maybe I can live with the odd rough patch for now.

Also (fly meets ointment part two) Harry’s medical training takes him to sunny Manchester from August for two years and we’re also discussing how we can accommodate a long distance relationship and the occasional need for him to work weekends, be on call, and do two 12 hour shifts back-to-back etc.

But, in the meantime, he’s still coming over on Friday; and he wants to stay all through Saturday too. I’ve explained I’m going to a party on Saturday and he should come with, but he may not; I’m still going to go but won’t stay too long and in the meantime he’ll have the run of my place I guess. Soon he’ll know all my secrets – and without my mystique what am I?

I’m his boyfriend.

PS watch this it's fab!!


Monty said...

Wahooooooo!!!!!! Trust me, when it all happens, you just know it! I've discovered that with McBrad. As soon as I met him, I felt comfortable with him and it just felt like this was it. We both kind of assumed that we were together and that was it!!! He officially asked me to be his B/F after 2 weeks, but that was just a formality! Enjoy Harry! (now that you've mentioned he's half Iraqi - I'm now going with Hamid, Hassif, Hassan???) Really happy for you Mike!!!

Monty! xxx

Kim said...

I agree with Monty. Sounds great! Long distance can work, everybody has baggage (he doesn't even have kids! Pah ex's on their own are nothing!) When it happened to me I felt like there was only one choice and even if it went horribly wrong it was still worth it. It may still go horribly wrong and it's still worth it.


czechOUT said...

Why play those silly games? Is it too early to txt before 48 hours are up, will I seem to keen?

Sounds like you both have heads on properly, and know what you want.

Playing the games can only send the wrong message.

I knew there was something special about mon C on our first date. I was even more convinced on our second, just over a week later. Two nights later we had our 3rd date on Saturday and the very next day we decided it would make sense to live together. Now almost 3 years later, here we are just about to celebrate our 1st wedding anniversary.

The point was we both knew what we wanted, and we both knew the other did too.