Thursday, 29 May 2008

Does it count?

I know anyone who’s read this blog before might be surprised that I pose the question. Yes, since I (a) came out and (b) came single I’ve been through a fair number of men. Wild oats sown (diligent care taken to ensure a crop failure); learnt a thing or two to be sure; met some great people. But no persistent significant other, boyfriend, etc… So what do we call this?

Let’s start then with what it doesn’t count as. It doesn’t count as love. And putting out won’t get it! I’m hoping that honesty; being baggage-free; keeping positive; and working on my own expectations are the key. Well, that’s what’s on offer – we’ll see if anyone in the June line-up takes me up on it.

But, in the meantime I’ve been [I am] terribly slutty and had a lot of new experiences in a relatively short space of time; very exciting, and lots of fun. But, the question remains; does it all count… as a ‘love life’? If I’m going to make a distinction between love and sex, then no; it probably does not.

Of course, it doesn’t matter because beyond a certain level it’s what I think it is that counts. I don’t need to go into much more gruesome detail here about this guy or that, to put you off entirely, gentle reader. But I’m surprised about how broad-minded [horny] I am and willing to try new things. New to me, anyway; though probably still pure vanilla compared to everyone else! incidentally, I find I’ve been accused of having sex to validate myself. Well, D’uh! I’m still new at this.

I’m also currently enjoying that very special arranging-dates feeling where emails and texts are exchanged with someone you’ve just met and there is the anticipation of someone nice, and who just possibly might think I’m nice. A good feeling. This is the stage where I think the whole world is giving me the eye, and liking what it sees. Yum! And the feeling only gets better after a good first date, I’ve found.

I’ve just come back from the concert at St Martin’s, and it was fantastic. Vivaldi’s Four Seasons, complimented with Boccherini’s Minuet, some Mozart, Tchaikovsky and Warlock. All in a beautifully restored venue; and well played enough to carry my mood with each movement. Managed to slip the second violin a sly wink too.


2 comments:

Monty said...

Mate, I had my two slutty summers and they were fantastic! No, it wasn't a Love life, it was a sex life, but it was a great life none-the-less! I think we all need to go through that stage at some time or other - so sit back (lie back?) and enjoy it! ;-)

czechOUT said...

Sex ≠ Love.

Love can be expressed through sex. Sex, when functional, is simply an extension of masturbation, with another/s, and more fun.

Many people cannot divorce sex from the emotion, and for them sex is love, and cannot be anything else. Consequently they expect fidelity, because they cannot relate to sex as simply a physical function.

Nothing wrong with that.

For those who can divorce the act and emotion, the only issue left is how our understanding of morality impacts upon the act.

That can sew seeds of guilt about it. Slag becomes pejorative.

But step back, this doesn't make sense. What is morality? A code, sometimes antiquated, encompassing christian focussed conservative attitudes, plenty of which are simply not relevant to life and our right to express ourselves.

Morality dictated until 1967 that male to male sex was illegal. Was that good mores? And what gave society the right...

So, one could take the view that morality is not the appropriate guidestick, so why comtemplate guilt?

ahoj