Wednesday, 28 May 2008

Age before beauty

My recent date offensive across the ether has begun to yield some results. Am I ready to assign that final letter of the alphabet? I am not! But I do need a new naming system. Elements? Places? Fictional Characters? Trees? Ideas, please, would be most welcome. In the meantime, anonymity is even more assured than usual!

Anyway, I did in the end meet someone online on Tuesday. Not especially blog-worthy, except for two things. The first is that this is the first non-white guy I’ve hooked up with. Oddly, when ‘straight’ I dated women of every creed, colour and religion. Now I’ve realised/admitted I am in fact gay…. I’ve only been with white men. Up to now.

The second is, once we’d finished, he really came across as absolutely disgusted with me and him and what we’d done. Wouldn’t kiss me, would barely look at me, very uncommunicative. At the risk of sounding a dreadful racialist I wonder if it’s a cultural/religious thing? Mind you, Harry is Muslim too. Hmm. Well, I guess only time and experience will answer my questions for me!

Two further prospects have arisen from the Soulmates website. One I’ve just started messaging, so we’ll see what happens there I suppose. But, I HAVE A DATE! About time!!

A banker (well, he works in the City, so something like that) who lives not far from me, but not too close. Next Tuesday is the day, 7pm (BST) the time, Greenwich the place. I can’t wait.

However, I think it is gentleman number three that is the most interesting.

I met him on Gaydar and what you can do, if you find a profile there that you like, is mark it with a star (nice) or a flame (hot). And to this chap I gave a star because the photos look good and the writing was lovely. Anyway, he messaged me to thank me for the star, and I wrote back a fulsome message complimenting his profile in more detail, and he replied and etc etc.

The interesting thing is that this guy, whom I genuinely do like, is outside my pre-defined age range of “28 to 38”. Men in their thirties I find are not afraid to be demanding and passionate in bed, while relatively young men… not in my experience (ha! Like I really know enough! Still, I’m on my third bed in six months, so…). Well, Mr Man is in his fifties. ‘T’, a semi-regular, well ‘lover’ I suppose is 40, but he’s great in every way, so I’d not really discounted people in their 40s. But over 50 is a new one for me…

Well, I’m much younger than his preferred age range too so we’ve agreed to disregard each other’s preference for the moment and see what happens. Next Thursday, if I’m lucky.

In the meantime today I spent mostly update my YouTube favourites and playlists, so check them out if you want to. But, to horrify again before you go, I’ve discovered I do quite fancy a young Sir Anthony Eden. Yeah, Eden, you can invade my canal anytime. He wasn't gay and died before I was born, so I'll make do with the men at hand...


Monty said...

In his 50's!!! OMG! Well hope things go well.

Don't want to rain on your parade, and you're probably very aware of this already (and have experienced this) but the pics may not match the reality. There are plenty of guys who've advertised their age as early 40's with photos to match and then I have met them and it's obvious that the pics were taken 10 yrs ago!

But that being said, he might be all up front and honest...and for your sake, I hope so! You deserve the best, mate!!!

czechOUT said...

What? Why assume that just because a chap is in his fifties he is *more* likely to be misleading?

It was my experience (from before) that there was a fair chance that anyone over 25 started lying about their Gaydar age. They staid 25 for quite a few years, 27 would carry on into the early 30s and 32 until at least 37/38.

Younger guys sending pics not of them, and generally wasting time.

I found that the more honest were likely to be mid-40s up!


ps the guilt your non-white experienced might have been as a result of his own feelings of shame, which might be cultural or run deeper.

I had a F-buddy that I saw for over 2 years, regularly for sex. We barely spoke and when we done the act he would retire in disgust. Sometime after this had being going on he spoke to me after one Wednesday evening. His therapist had suggested he should speak to me.

He was full of guilt and shame. Physically he had a need but couldn't reconcile the man-to-man act. Turned out he had been abused as a child (by a non-family member). His therapy went on for a number of years. He has become much more relaxed, and I still bump into him (as a friend, not F-buddy) from time to time.