And another thing!

Sam got in touch.

I am at fault in many ways, and the first of these in context is my failure to reveal to you certain things. You see, gentle reader, Sam is well known to my former counsellor. And I learned today that my date falling through is largely due to my former counsellor’s influence.

To say that I was angry could scarcely do justice; and I will express now the thanks due to my friend who let me sound off in so many ways between conversations with Sam, thus giving me the chance to get my mind in order before tackling the Beast before me.

You will know by now I am not the most emotionally mature person, and partly because of it I have very little relationship experience. And many of my friends will acknowledge I have, putting it mildly, a temper. Hey, I’m a Leo with an Aries rising (a Fire Snake for the eastern cohort of you). What can we expect?

A big part of the problem is that I’m in the health service responsible [I’m still very surprised] for public spending, and patient safety; and my counsellor’s programme is publicly funded by that same service. So what to do?

Well, in the first instance I was very, very shouty. The villain of the piece is my former counsellor, there can be no question, but the context of my conversation with Sam was his failure to talk to me. I know a lot about Sam, and it has been my privilege to be trusted in that way but I really had to point out: we haven’t even had DATE ONE YET! How much exactly do you want to know!?

Yes I already knew about my counsellor and Sam. I was in fact going to reveal this knowledge on our date. Hence it rankles all the more to be so poorly treated without even having that chance to be known, and get to know.

I could rave and froth all night at the confluence of justice and duty and desire. How awkward to have maturity thrust upon me in such tortuous circumstance…

No, I simply cannot let it go. I would be dangerously unprofessional to do so. My counsellor deals with vulnerable people who risk being adversely, catastrophically even, affected by his lack of consideration. I am employed in a context where taking it forward will have further reaching consequences than we might expect. And amongst these will be the destruction of the relationship between my former counsellor and Sam.

Yet, for all of this (and we have discussed it), Sam and I are having dinner – our date, finally, actually - on Monday and, thus for me at least, it is a win. Grrrr/Phew! What a night.