Two dollar banjo

In my last post I discussed a 20 year old guy I encountered via OUT who seemed a bit cynical and down about dating and getting out there – and how keen I was for him not to fritter his youth away. Well, the next night – last night – I was due to go out on a date but it was cancelled on the flimsy pretext of a murder or something. Anyway, I found myself with time on my hands and said guy contacted me so we ended up meeting for a drink.

... well…

I’m afraid one thing led to another and before I knew it things were progressing down Fuzunjulation Avenue at a very rapid pace.

Am I showing off now? No. I’m actually taking pause for a bit of a stock take, because there are a range of things I’ve been thinking about since:

Age: Ten years younger than me is far too young. For me going the other way is not a problem; the greatest age difference between me and any guy I’ve dated (and the rest) is 24 years my senior; I currently have my eye on a rather dishy 41 year old that I’m patiently trying to tempt out for a date. Though I have had casual assignations over the last few months with some guys in their early 20s, perhaps I’m looking for someone older to be in a relationship with because of my lack of experience in that area?

Flavour: I’m adventurous but pure vanilla, and am happy with that. I was thinking a today about guys who seem happy just to acquire notches on the bedpost and… OK, I’ve been a bit like that. But this guy really isn’t vanilla; make no mistake. How does someone that age learn they’re into that kind of stuff? Not that I can really describe said ‘stuff’ here… we can applaud the adventurous spirit though I suppose. But I am now shocked; although I’ve never really had a problem indulging other people’s tastes (in fact I derive most pleasure form pleasing The Other) this was somewhat further than I have travelled down that road before.

Played. That’s what I feel has happened. All this ‘I’m not into one night stands’ et al – but as soon as it happens he doesn’t want to know me any more – he’s made quite clear he got what he came for. It makes me feel like a dirty old perv and a naïve teenager all at the same time.

The unique combination of youth and cynicism. This is one of the first things I’ve turned to my newly acquired gay friends to discuss. Of course, life being that thing that it is, the ‘two degrees of separation’ issue came to light very quickly and now some of them are looking at me in a very new light indeed.

Memo to self: learn self control.