Friday, 4 July 2008

Revenge of the Invisible Boyfriend

What a difference a day makes (24 little hours)!

‘Did Mark call last night?’ I hear you cry! And lo, gentle reader, an age of miracles is at hand!! For Mark did indeed call me last night; and we finally did have that Talk that I needed to have for so long. A fool indeed am I for doubting him.

You see? Ignore good advice enough times and it works out fine.


He said that we hadn’t been communicating very well recently, and agreed that we did need to Talk. Mark explained that he was being ‘his usual selfish self’ and not being careful to think about others. He said he’d become accustomed to not being in a relationship, and it was taking him a long time to remember how to treat someone! It also means he finds it difficult to respond all romantic-like to me - so when I say “hi gorgeous; can’t wait to see you ;-p” and he replies “how are you? I’m doing the crossword. What’s a five-letter word for secret pumpkin?” I shouldn’t read anything into it.

He explained too that he was really busy at work and had a lot of things to deal with – essentially he needs to plan well in advance, whereas I’m much more spontaneous. I didn’t go as far as suggesting that at these social events I can be his ‘plus one’ but I think he realised that as an option at some level because he talked for a while about how he has groups of friend he sees rarely and they make demands of him etc. I suggested that we should work more toward merging our social calendars.

But I think that the most important thing we discussed was that I’m not freaking him out by forcing the issue. I reassured him that I’m not high maintenance and he said that he already understood that about me, which was pleasing to hear. Also, he talked at length about how this is more to him than just something casual, which was really great too!

On my part I did explain I knew I was being a needy foolish nincompoop, and I hated that in myself as much as I do in others but that once in a while I might need some kind of ‘reality check’ to keep me sure about things.

And, I did ask him is he was seeing anyone else – I explained/reassured at the same time that I was no longer. He reiterated he’d always been a one-at-a-time kind of guy, though he admitted he had been messaging some guys on the site where we met. I can hardly complain about that now, can I?

Christ, I’m relieved. I think I’ve been luckier than I deserve to be: after doing my damndest to make it fail I got everything I needed and wanted AND I have a boyfriend who’s gorgeous, near-by and that I like and who likes me. It’s amazing how nice it is not to be adrift any longer on a sea of anonymous sex and endless parties! Now I have me a proper relationship. The exciting start of one anyway.

1 comment:

Monty said...