Tuesday, 15 July 2008


I sit here at home alone again, gentle reader, wondering when O’ when I will see the invisible boyfriend again.

Well, maybe tomorrow. I hope so, but the chances are slim that Mark will be able to get out of his existing commitments to see me before he’s away. And then I’m away… Damn, damn, damn. Secretly I hope he’ll drop in on me when I’m working in sunny Guildford next week and ravish me! But, I know he won’t *sigh*.

Due to the events of the last three months I’m not used to having my evenings so free. Yes, it seems I got me a man and now I need me a hobby! Well, I could always use more work so that’s something I can try and drum up; right now the more the better – just because I want to do a bit better from now on and get away from my employed-work.

As for a hobby… well, I have become an outrageous flirt on OUT. I’m not sleeping with anyone of course (amusingly, it turns out one of my more recent assignations was also one of Marks’s – once again a very small world!!) but I am trying to slowly build up friendships with more gay men. And not doing too badly – so, for example, there are a couple of fellas now I can talk to Mark about. Of course I talk to longer-standing friends, and colleagues about him, but certain details are not on the approved list and anyway they usually either (a) tell me to finish with him or (b) disapprove of my behaviour. That's not on my approved list.

Incidentally one of the things I’ve noticed in myself recently also is a roving eye. There’s a fair bit of totty round where I live and work and, yes, the new temp in my office is quite the yummy dish.

I think expanding my circle of gay friends, now that I’ve calmed down in other areas *ahem*, is probably the best way forward. It will definitely help me overcome those moments of introspection when I worry I’m too poor/fat/ugly/dull/Martian/whatever; I can get some good advice from people who’ve been there (I do believe you can’t draw exact parallels from straight relationships easily). Plus, perhaps I’ll get to take some faltering first steps out onto the gay ‘scene’.

So then: Wednesday is a gig by a band who’s singer is someone I’ve met via t’internet (check it out here). I invited Mark but...
and Friday I’m out in Vauxhall with my friend Si. It’s a start!

PS: down to 81kg. A thousand hurrahs. Maybe I can break that elusive 80kg barrier and become the boyfriend of rippling gorgeousness at long last.

1 comment:

czechOUT said...

I clicked on your link and well...how fabulous. You met one of the Nancys. As in the I'd Do Anything. Maybe he would, and maybe it was a banner, but that well caught my attention.

Was it Jessie? Mind you, I'm not a fan of the Irish particularly. And all those hands...

Circle of friends. I go through phases. Maybe I should, perhaps it's too much. Still I always could. And, well I often have a spare theatre ticket when Xfe find himself summoned away at short notice. In fact I have one for the Donmar fairly soon...

just a thought