Tuesday, 22 July 2008

Ach du Liebe

I’m down in the dumps gentle reader :-(

Here I am in sunny Guildford and whatever misbegotten wretch came up with the fiendish torture that is the Holiday Inn here deserves the very special circle of Hell that is even now being prepared. But worse than that – and this is the bit where you roll your eyes and *sigh* - it’s been 10 days since I heard from Mark, who’s clearly upgraded to some kind of pan-dimensional hyper-invisibility that mere mortal like me could never hope to comprehend. Well, three hectic 14 hour days and very little sleep or personal time took its toll and – so ashamed I can barely whisper it – I had to take a little break this afternoon to have an ickle tearful moment in the loos. I’m just beginning to think that, however upsetting it will be – and wow, will it ever be! - I need to be prepared to let him go. Even typing it makes my stomach flutter, but there we are. The pain train’s a-coming…. Who knows, maybe he’ll call just the very minute I publish this! Bet you a billion Zimbabwean dollars?

Awww, anyway, I hardly have time to dwell on things at the moment: I must prepare properly for my interview on Thursday morning; I have drinks Thursday night; I’m double booked on Friday; and I have friends staying over the weekend. As I mentioned to a friend tonight, I’m just miserable because I’m too busy to be miserable!

I’m a bit worried I won’t really have time to make myself 100% beautiful before the interview – I know I won’t have time for a haircut and I really do need to buy a new shirt from somewhere on the way home tomorrow. A new suit won’t be possible either, thought my workaday posh-frock isn’t in too bad a condition and I have new shoes anyway. Just the beauty sleep I need now, which is why I excused myself from my Guildford team’s based shenanigans tonight and am having some quiet grumpy me-time with some white wine from the mini-bar that, judging by the taste and price, is petrol based.

Hmm. What else is new?

Well, there is a guy I have been chatting to on OUT who, somewhat worse for wear, messaged me the other night to write how attractive and nice I am. I guess he doesn’t know me like you do gentle reader ;-)

Tonight he messaged to apologise for being overly personal and explained “But having said that, you do look attractive! I really fall for people who are kind, gentle… intelligent, funny and decent… If they have these things, I'm become hopelessly attracted.”.

How to reply… how to reply… maybe this one could be the next ex-Mr Right!


PinkExpat said...

The only acceptable reasons that a boyfriend has not contacted his other ´alf for 10 days is that he is unconscious in a hospital or on a long trip exploring a tropical rainforest where there is no mobile ´phone coverage. Otherwise, no matter how busy someone is with work or family or hobbies or anything else, it does not take two minutes to send a sms or e-mail saying "sorry that I´ve not been in touch recently, things are just manic here, but I will make it up to you when I have more free time, kisses M".

So it seems from your writings, that he is either really, really out of practice of being in a relationship or, more likely, that he has serious doubts about the relationship. Some people find it difficult to end a relationship - they may not want to hurt someone else, they may prefer to be the dumpee rather than the dumper hoping that you will get the message without having to say anything themselves.

Have you tried to sms/e-mail/´phone him to ask him WHY he has not been in touch for so long? That may be a good idea - say that you want a answer within 24 hours and if the does not reply, then just send another sms/e-mail stating that you are presuming that this is his way of saying that the relationship is over.

It MAY be he has issues about the relationship you need to talk about - perhaps he wants a much, much less hands-on relationship than you, but it does not sound like the most likely option. Even if it was the case, it does not sound like the sort of relationship you want or deserve.

Whatever happens, you cannot let things go on the way they are. It is obviously upsetting you and you deserve someone who will make you happy. Good luck with whateverer decision you take.

Monty said...

oooh, I like PinkExpat's advice. It's awful to see you upset - he sounded like was soooo Mr Right but from the last few posts, he seems to be becoming less and less so. You deserve the BEST mate, someone who really appreciates the CATCH that you are! Big hug!!!

DM said...

I agree 100% with pinkexpat. You deserve better!x

Leon M said...

is he really your boyfriend? if there's a will, there's away! whatever's going on his life at the moment, if he wants to contact you, he will regardless of the situation. you need to ask yourself if your in this "relationship" purely because you want to be n a relationship and not because of him. I think he's putting you under emotional torture and wors prt is he doesn't even know! i've been reading your posts for the past few months and even i'm getting frustrated with your "boyfriend" (!) tell him straight to his face if you guys are an item or not as there's no contact at all between you guys for a long time. if he's busy, so what, a phone call can only take 2 minutes of his time. that's a relationship! it seems like it's always you who is doing all the contacting hence he's got the upper hands on you. tell him what you feel and say that it is putting you under torture and you can't keep on passing on other men who's interested with you just because you've got a "boyfriend" who's failed to contact for the last 10 days!