Tuesday, 1 September 2009

The 'L' word

I’ve given Fella the night off. It seems only fair that we both take a little rest; we spent Friday night through to Tuesday morning together after all. And as I explained before, Tuesday nights are my night!

Since Saturday I’d been a tad miffed with my Fella because much of the long weekend has been taken up with preparing for, attending, and a follow up visit to his best friend’s birthday. Nothing major; just that for this event we were treated to an exquisitely timed three day operation set out with military precision. Yet I can barely make it to work on time when he stays over because he is not, to put it mildly, a morning person. In fact these days I’ll get up an hour or two before him and get some work under my belt before making him the obligatory mug of tea in bed.

Anyway: one of the biggest learning points about what I increasingly consider my first proper relationship, is that it rarely pans out in the gloriously earth-shatteringly romantic way one might hope. And so it goes with the ‘L’ word.

So, after leaving his friend’s birthday – all his friends are lovely, and I had a great time to be sure – we ended up bickering and he accused me of not enjoying spending time with him; and I responded by saying I adore spending time with him, because I love him. And, to cut a long story short, he said he loves me too.

How typically me! It wasn’t said in a restaurant, or in bed, or with flowers. No; on a street corner in Greenwich in the dead of night…

And there we have it. I resisted saying it for quite some time; and I am not sure how I feel about saying it then and there. Nevertheless, it is done and I gone done it. The learning point for today’s post is, I suppose, reality trumps romantic dreams. And there will be plenty of opportunities, fingers crossed, to show I mean it as well as say it in many much nicer ways.

Not the least of which are the tickets to Paris – I’m going for Thursday morning to Saturday night and I’ve found a nice gay friendly complex of studio apartments. The trip is one of four presents; four because his birthday coincides with our four month ‘anniversary’. But I can post about those another time.

I’m still anxious and inexperienced and unsure and worried but happy and tentatively optimistic and… me. And now we have a new word for our lexicon, gentle reader. And it begins with ‘L.


Monty said...

Yay! Congrats on the L word!!!

Antony said...

Hi Mike,

I completely appreciate fella not being a morning person, as I am not a morning person either.

It is lovely that you "obligatory mug of tea in bed". I have had boyfriends in the past and this is definitately one of those little things you don't always appreciate at the time (as your groggy and soooo not with it), but do appreciate it after.

The L word ususally slips out this way, relax, it's normal (well normal in my relationships anyhow).

You may want to keep an eye on this time think. You may want to sit him down and explain that you love him but also explain your commitments to other things. Time management is difficult and I am sure if he knew what you had on (workwise, friendswise, etc.) he would realise how much of priority you make him.

That's what it's really about. Him not realising what you have on and not feeling like a priority. And how could he? You have probably never told him everything that you do when he's not around! Well worth a conversation I think.


Antony x

Mike said...

Well the use of the 'L' word hasn't done any harm! I did try to sit him down and explain the pressures on my time; and how much of a priority he is. Yet I fear an episode of SATC distracted him *sigh*. Until next time then...! X