Thursday, 17 September 2009


Just a quick one tonight, gentle reader (oo-er) because I am SO tired. I started work at 8:00 this morning and finished at 9:45 this evening – working at home after leaving the office. This is becoming a typical weekday for me - hugely busy because the pandemic is kicking off and we’re getting ready for the upcoming election and the next financial year – over 90 organisations have to have their plans evaluated for 2010.

I’ve been reticent about discussing my work on this blog because (a) it’s not really relevant to being a gayer, and (b) I dislike bragging and self-aggrandisement intensely. But this seems as good a time as any to scratch the surface.

I work for the body that overseas NHS care in London. Coming from a European background it’s interesting to see the ‘free’ NHS system and compare it to the European subsidised system. I’ve always been impressed by the dedication of the medical and administrative staff to nothing but patient care; and by the clear links between what politicians say and real on-the-ground action to make it a reality.

Fella and I both like to work hard. He has an enormous drive for work and it in many ways inspires me. And Cheerful fairy or no I am still competitive enough to want to always be paid more than him! So our relationship has actually strengthened that aspect of my life not only in the way our lives and work ethics interact, but in the need to plan carefully around him. I had to work late tonight because we’re meeting tomorrow, for example. And as you will have seen I cannot work at the weekend.

It’s very difficult to give to a relationship and manage such a heavy workload. As Fella and I are both swamped the time we have together can sometimes get slightly tense. As I try to be supportive and am NLP-ing my way to being a mediocre (versus a piss-poor) communicator I can dimply perceive why it is commonly held wisdom (and thus probably total twaddle) that relationships have an dominant and submissive partner (no, not like that. Filthy minded thing that y’are!). otherwise how can you reconcile the pressures of living in the modern world?

Work is an area, like so many, where Fella and I seem to both complement and contradict each other. Our similarities ironically presenting the challenge: which one of us stays home to look after the baby that is our relationship? Of course it’s a job for both of us, and an issue that must be worked through in its own delicate time.

In the short term, however, my stream of (fading) consciousness is done and I think a little wine and perhaps a little sleep.

PS thinking of my fatigued state: I watched REC the other day. A Spanish zombie flick with an interesting if underexplored twist. At just over an hour it really moves fast - I recommend it. If you like zombies!


Mx said...

Being gay does not define me as a person, however, my work, or rather, my approach to work certainly does. I work in Financial Services for a US Investment Bank and, like you do extremely long hours and unlike you, sometimes weekends from home or in the office. I am literally married to my job. I guess this is why I am still single. I wouldn't even begin to know how to let someone into my world because of my work. Full credit to you and Fellla! PS. I saw REC on SKY movies sometime ago and also thought it was great!

MadeInScotland said...

a partner is someone you can come home to and enjoy the mutual comfort of no hard-discussion option; kiss, cuddle sit down together and enjoy.

work does take up so much energy for sure.

see, i can only voice concepts, thoughts; no energy to write proper sentences

Antony said...

What I always love about reading your blog - is the MASSIVE positive regard for your fella.


A x

Mike said...

It's sometimes a struggle to get that Goldilocks balance of being defined as gay but not by being gay.

It really is difficult to make sure that there is time for both my work and Fella. I will admit I sometimes get up a couple of hours early to catch up; certainly planning and working late in the evening is a regular thing. It does help he doesn;t have to work such long hours - and likes cooking!