Sunday, 6 September 2009


Fella has gone home and left me with nothing but my knitting. Well, as I don’t knit it would seem he has left me with nothing at all :-(

I know I seem melodramatic, gentle reader, but it seems without him here – now that I’m used to having him around three or four nights per week - I am at a loss.

What I should be doing is the background reading I brought home to do for precisely this reason. I knew he couldn’t stay and the extra time to catch up on a bit of work is hugely useful. But instead I think of my loneliness and that there’s nothing on the tele’ and the takeaway isn’t open on a Sunday and yet there is wine in the fridge.

The week ahead will be busy, of course; work and exercise and work and on Wednesday Fella and I are going to the cinema and work and on Friday he and I are attending a dinner party with friend ‘A’ and friend ‘F’ and all three respective partners. The first time we’ve all been partnered up at the same time! My friends all love Fella – quite rightly, more than they like me *nervous laugh*. So it promises to be a good evening; and then the weekend next again.

I have grown more and more dependant on Fella’s presence around me. I do not sleep so well when he is not here. This pains me as he hogs the bed terribly and exudes an insane amount of heat… but, no. It is his presence I need.

Internet dating is often unsuccessful – and I go on the experience of fellow bloggers and friends as well as my own – because we expect the SPARK; a frisson of love-at-first-sight without which we, like kids in a candy store, continue profile shopping…

My relationship, then, is one that continues to grow. At first things were on occasion difficult. We didn’t communicate well. It was hard to work out what the other liked. I genuinely though I’d ruined things on more than once occasion and only a wilful decision to Trust him and me kept me going. Now I see us becoming ever closer; becoming one in our likes and the way we think. Friends remark, given how comfortable we seem together, it hardly seems possible it could only be four months.

Dull and unromantic perhaps, like a quiet Sunday in over going out on the razzle! But I am very very pleased that I took my time to fall in love and decided it was best, this time, to take things slow. Even Trust evolves and much work remains to be done. I begin to dimly appreciate how lucky I am to be with someone who though I may just be worth a bit of time and effort. How could I not respond in kind?

I do miss him though. I may even be forced to take up knitting.


Antony said...

Owe, what are you going watching at the cinemas?

I'm sure your friends love you! I think your a wonderful man, and I've never met you!

I know what you mean about the "insane heat in bed", I used to go out with someone who was similar - luckily I like heat, so no complains. :D

I think we all need an inital spark with someone, to find them attractive and get on with them but I agree with you as time goes by and a relationship grows, feelings get invested, it can turn in to something fantastic!

Think it's brilliant you've found love and are becoming closer and closer to the one you love.

As for the kniting - go for it lol.


A x

Anonymous said...

I envy you for that feeling of falling in love, something for which I have been search for, but it eludes me. Enjoy it and relish in it. And if my far distant memory serves me, later, it gets even better!!

Mike said...

I think we will see either diran Grey or "Julie and Juliet" or whatever its called. Both Fella's choices; I'm not too keen on either though I do like my Wilde... he has good taste so I'm certain I shall overcome my dour demeanour and enjoy them a lot! Still wish he were here, knitting or no...

And ads for you, Anonymous, I think if you have known it before it will come to you again. And thanks; I look forward to it very much :-)