Tuesday, 19 May 2009

Decisions, decisions

As much as I do like Fella I am torn about pursuing a relationship right now. I have a lot of things I was planning to do over the summer and while a relationship would be wonderful it would mean redefining priorities in a way that might put some on indefinite hold.

I suppose that lessens the post-date ‘not a clue what to do’ angst of it all. Fella and I have been emailing and texting a lot but I think I’ll give him a bit of space pro-tem because having me buzzing in his ear is the last thing he needs. Friends (good friends with much more important things to deal with) have counselled me to hold off a bit and they’ve just about talked me in off the ledge… he’s quite inscrutable so I suppose tomorrow, when we meet again and I meet some of his friends too, will tell… Stay tuned, gentle reader!

But that might well be the key, no? Whatever the way I go down the fork in the road I have a clear path. It is possible I will keep seeing a nice guy with the potential to be… something (which I would like to do); or I will focus on the priorities I’ve already identified.

Either’s OK. Really, it is. I was cautioned by a friend to be sure I know the difference between liking him or liking the idea of someone being interested in me. A fine point, well made. Now who will make use of it? Well it’s all a learning process, still and forever. At worst, some temporary disappointment beckons (with a soupcon of bewilderment about what exactly one has to do!) and after that… well, I’ll let you know.


Gauss Jordan said...

Interesting dilemma. I've always told myself that I'd put my career first. That's been easy, since I've been in zero relationships up until this point, and had zero chance of being in one.

Now, though, that I'm making an effort to "get out there," I have a small bit of doubt. If I meet that "Mr. Right" but have to move to NY for my next position, or overseas, or whatever, what would I do?

I guess we'll see what you do.

Anonymous said...

Relationships take a lot of time and effort.

Acid test: wait until they do something that totally pisses you off :-)

Your own reaction is a good indication of whether what you're feeling towards them is genuine.

Mike said...

See, I spent a long time allegedly focussing on my career, and that's gone fine; but here I am now, not a clue if my reactions or emotions are real or valid or just some childish response to things I can't understand. *sigh* It's been easier than this before, I'll admit. But then, I am single, so...