Chill pill

Well, once again the world has turned, causing me to leave behind my anger issues. As day surely follows night, so surely feeling like a one-man-idiot follows losing my temper.

It’s a number of things really. Most importantly, I think, a couple of friends are having a tough time with affairs of the heart. In particular one is finding it difficult to deal with the end of his relationship. It’s all been recent but do I worry about how unhappy he is. My friend recognised and shares my rage issues. We talked last night and he pointed out how difficult it was to get over International; an uncomfortable truth to be confronted with, but there we are. His experience and that of my other friend show me I should perhaps wind my neck in a notch.

Gay dating is a very a crude form of evolution. I feel every time I begin something with someone I’m jumping off a cliff. The more I feel for them the higher the cliff is I leap from. Yet every time so far I have hit the ground; and of course the further I have fallen the harder and more painfully I have hit. One day I shall leap off the highest cliff of all and – if I’m very lucky – grow wings, and fly. If not, then I shall hit the ground for the final time.

As you might have gathered, gentle reader my not-date on Friday was not a good one. I just didn’t like him, and I felt foolish for giving him a second change (that silence you hear, by the way, is all my friends absolutely not saying I Told You So, bless ‘em). I got very annoyed because he reminded me too much of International and my own failings and really, I realized hadn’t a clue what I was really expecting.

Today things are much better. I’ve actually spent most of the afternoon with an insanely good in bed guy. Ironically it was a guy I had chatted to on Out a while ago but I didn’t really think he was my type, so nothing came of it. Then, by coincidence, we cyberstumbled over each other on gaydar and, as my way of helping him over exam stress (university student you see) we had an assignation.

Talk about not seeing the wood for the trees! He seems a really great guy; I felt very comfortable with him and really enjoyed his company in more than the usual way. Well, though I’m done dating* while walking him back I suggested we should go out for a drink and spend time engaging in not-sex in some significant way.

Of course Strumpetville remains, and some other things have occurred that I shall blog about next time; until then, I wish you the best for the rest of the weekend!