Mug

Amongst all the dating and the assignations and my gentleman callers I often forget the need to talk to gayers in the real world; Strumpetville is full of gorgeous opportunity for me but I so very rarely take advantage of it.

Where I work there are currently four candidates for the position of office totty. Sadly, I have no real opportunity day to day to talk to them and as such, given my introversion, shyness and general lack of confidence in these matters, I don’t know what to do. They look at me; I look at them. I wish, I wish I were more of a people person.

It’s getting to the point that it’s beginning to irritate me and I suspect them too. There is one to whom I say hello when we pass in the corridor etc; but I suspect he’s equally shy because he doesn’t talk to me if he sees me before I see him. That could, of course, mean he’s not interested in any way. One of the things we have to bear in mind is that the opening line leads to a tactful exploration of whether the subject is (a) gay (b) out (c) single (d) potentially interested (e) meets the specifications.

There is another one I have spoken to, in the sense he was speaking to someone I know and I joined the conversation. She, the mutual acquaintance, was surprised – as she reported to me later – as he’d never acknowledged in the office, before I was there, that he is gay. She thinks that’s a good sign.

The others, never a word. Just… looks.

My administrator, with whom I have become good friends was in stitches when the first guy, Mr Hello, was in the kitchen and I – out of desperation to make conversation – commented that he had a nice mug (as in drinking utensil though he’s cute as a button).Once the tears of laughter had stopped she confided that it sounded like a cheesy pick-up line. Which, I suppose, it was. I took that opportunity to inform her she wouldn’t be getting a pay-rise this year.

She suggests I put too much pressure on myself to try and talk to these guys in ‘that way’ and I should chillax and just talk to them casually. And there is some wisdom to what she says; let things take their course. I find it easy to talk to others, so why not them?

Still… does anyone have any ideas about how a shy gay guy with no relationship experience, people skills, or ‘gaydar’ might go about things? It’s very important I get better at these things soon. Practice makes perfect? I don’t really want to practice on people I‘ll see every day… Still, two dates tomorrow and another on Thursday. You never know, maybe I’ll never need to learn!