Saturday, 4 April 2009

Hint of Drama

I want to share an interesting episode from last week, as it relates to my complaint of shyness a couple of posts back.

On Thursday colleagues and I went for a drink and whilst there I began exchanging Looks with a guy at the bar. He’d been having drinks with some family but they had left and we exchanged Looks and Smiles and eventually I went over to him at the bar and…

And that’s it, gentle reader. I didn’t really have the balls to do more than have a few flirty exchanges and buy him a drink. However, I wanted to share that little story because I was actually surprised by myself – in my behaviour at so openly flirting with someone: my 97 colleagues who were watching overall gave it a 9.6; eager to a fault they were to share their views.

Overall view, I think, I wasn’t ready to take things further. Yet this is a battle we might anyway call a win; the war continues ever yet! And yes, I kick myself for not making the situation result in a bit of fun, or perhaps more. But the key point to all of this is that there is next time, and next time and next time.

A tad more positive than the very silly thing I did last night…

And before I go any further I want to make clear you can do anything, just not the face OK?

…which was to contact International.

I know! I know! It was totally the wrong thing to do. But as I have mentioned I miss him. And that is an understatement.

So I asked him how he was and whether he was glad to have met me; he said he was. Very much so. I explained that I missed him and he set the bar pretty high but that I was [getting] ready to start dating again. He said he was still working through some issues but he hoped we could become friends.

It was a foolish thing to do but I am a lot surer now whaever my feelings I don’t want to get back together with him, so in many ways it was as helpful as it was ill-advised.

What was probably more helpful was the kind action of friends last week; one in the office deliberately introducing me to a fellow colleague whom I really do find attractive (and he ended up talking to the two of us quite candidly about being gay; something apparently unprecedented in her experience of him. Hmmmm….). And a very good friend of mine sent me a link to which is an international site listing groups and clubs and other associations of ‘like-minded’ people. It’s not gay focussed but it will, as she suggested, provide a new avenue for me to go out and meet people.

Further updates as events warrant :-)

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