It’s busy on the dating front, gentle reader, which is great news. I’m not entirely sure what it is that has prompted this surge, but I’m not going to argue – just accept it at face value and enjoy.
Friday I have what is technically my second date with Sam, which I’m very much looking forward to. But I also have dates on Saturday, Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday. My bank manager will be pleased ;-)
Yet with this veritable cornucopia of gorgeous guys all lining up to be Frumpella’s secret pumpkin how do I ensure I don’t let this opportunity pass me by?
I’ve never sat down and thought about who Mr Right might be; and while I know it does not pay to be too prescriptive I suspect one of the reasons I’ve never really been able to get a relationship off the ground since I came out is that I’ve not been very discerning. I’ve been just too pleased to get any interest at all; it’s turned my head and I haven’t ever considered the longer term.
Damn, it’s difficult. Am I still so new to this? Well, the only two people ever to call me their boyfriend didn’t really mean it. And while it is fun to have a string of guys come round, enjoy some naughty fun, be told that I’m fabulous and then be left to get on, I’ve always wanted…. more.
What am I looking for? It’s difficult to set out, as it’s still a moveable feast. My need to depend on an experienced gay man has diminished and so over time Mr Right has evolved.
He was a very ‘active’, mature, non-scene, out, guy who could and would very much be the dominant partner in the relationship.
Now I’m looking for more of a balance. Versatile, quite possibly late 20s to early 30s (though by no means am I excluding anyone older); someone who goes out on the scene sometimes; who is quite career focussed and can network well; someone who looks after themselves, has a number of gay friends and acquaintances etc.
In short, not anymore someone who can correct my deficiencies as a gayer; now someone who complements or balances (as necessary) who I am.
Naturally, there are things that haven’t changed. Double-plus gorgeous and an ass that won’t quit, if you please. The standards here in Strumpetville are tougher than ever!
I can be single minded when I want to be and usually get what I want through a mixture of tenacity and self-delusion. Though patience is not a virtue of mine, experience has shown that Rule One is a very important rule indeed; and instead of putting out and having an air of neediness about me perhaps it’s best to see what happens – or does not – in its own good time.
If you’d said two years ago I’d be asking men out on dates and openly flirting with other gayers I would have… well, blushed and scurried away probably. I realise I’m asking a lot, and I’m still a little uncertain what I’m offering anyone wants (well, if you’re going to love yourself it may was well be tough love). Nevertheless, I know I look good [ish] – I’m quite pleased with how things are turning out body-wise though I still know I won’t win any prizes! I have a great job that I love; great friends; I have good taste; I’m told I’m good in bed… I think I’m worth a whirl.