Thursday, 26 February 2009

Mr Right. Who He?

It’s busy on the dating front, gentle reader, which is great news. I’m not entirely sure what it is that has prompted this surge, but I’m not going to argue – just accept it at face value and enjoy.

Friday I have what is technically my second date with Sam, which I’m very much looking forward to. But I also have dates on Saturday, Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday. My bank manager will be pleased ;-)

Yet with this veritable cornucopia of gorgeous guys all lining up to be Frumpella’s secret pumpkin how do I ensure I don’t let this opportunity pass me by?

I’ve never sat down and thought about who Mr Right might be; and while I know it does not pay to be too prescriptive I suspect one of the reasons I’ve never really been able to get a relationship off the ground since I came out is that I’ve not been very discerning. I’ve been just too pleased to get any interest at all; it’s turned my head and I haven’t ever considered the longer term.

Damn, it’s difficult. Am I still so new to this? Well, the only two people ever to call me their boyfriend didn’t really mean it. And while it is fun to have a string of guys come round, enjoy some naughty fun, be told that I’m fabulous and then be left to get on, I’ve always wanted…. more.

What am I looking for? It’s difficult to set out, as it’s still a moveable feast. My need to depend on an experienced gay man has diminished and so over time Mr Right has evolved.

He was a very ‘active’, mature, non-scene, out, guy who could and would very much be the dominant partner in the relationship.

Now I’m looking for more of a balance. Versatile, quite possibly late 20s to early 30s (though by no means am I excluding anyone older); someone who goes out on the scene sometimes; who is quite career focussed and can network well; someone who looks after themselves, has a number of gay friends and acquaintances etc.

In short, not anymore someone who can correct my deficiencies as a gayer; now someone who complements or balances (as necessary) who I am.

Naturally, there are things that haven’t changed. Double-plus gorgeous and an ass that won’t quit, if you please. The standards here in Strumpetville are tougher than ever!

I can be single minded when I want to be and usually get what I want through a mixture of tenacity and self-delusion. Though patience is not a virtue of mine, experience has shown that Rule One is a very important rule indeed; and instead of putting out and having an air of neediness about me perhaps it’s best to see what happens – or does not – in its own good time.

If you’d said two years ago I’d be asking men out on dates and openly flirting with other gayers I would have… well, blushed and scurried away probably. I realise I’m asking a lot, and I’m still a little uncertain what I’m offering anyone wants (well, if you’re going to love yourself it may was well be tough love). Nevertheless, I know I look good [ish] – I’m quite pleased with how things are turning out body-wise though I still know I won’t win any prizes! I have a great job that I love; great friends; I have good taste; I’m told I’m good in bed… I think I’m worth a whirl.


Antony said...

Yeah it can be difficult. You need to decide what your looking for and be as specific as possible. This narrows down the field of men. :)

Once you've met one that meets your criteria/expectations, it's then a case of making the relationship work, :P it can be difficult at times. But well worth it.


A x

Mike said...

Yes, it certainly can be difficult! But thanks... I certainly hope it works out :-)