Monday, 17 March 2008

Meeting men

Now one of the things about being ‘in’ rather than ‘out’ is that I didn’t get the chance to 'shake it all about' and meet men. Even when I did I couldn’t really act on any attraction very easily, and I don’t think I’ll ever be properly into the whole gay scene – though I have a very active imagination (and now, thanks to Darren's friends, a greater understanding of what happens at Chariots than anyone could plausibly want). A unique combination of priapism and prudishness, I never took the chance to see where I fit in the great scheme of things. Philip Larkin eat your heart out.

There’s now no need to be reticent anymore, soooo in the spirit of exploration I’ve asked a few other guys out on a date.

BUT, gentle reader, fear not. I have no intention of fuzunjulating anything with a pulse. What I want to do is meet other men and actually start getting some gay friends all my own!

The first guy I contacted is ‘C’, because he’s coming out at the same time as me, and lives quite close to me and I thought it would be nice to meet up and talk, get some mutual support going. Plus, yes I admit it, I was attracted to the idea of getting to know someone like me. But, I think I won’t be hearing from him; I know he’s received my message and found out about me, but so far no response. Perhaps it’s just early days. Ho hum, here’s hoping.

As for the rest I’ve basically said I’m looking for new gay friends, let’s meet up sometime for a coffee/drink/meal and a chat.

One of the nicer things about coming out has been how supportive the few gay men I know (friend of Darren, neighbours, former colleagues) have been, including encouraging me and taking an active interest in my experience of coming out etc. One surprising consequence has been a re-evaluation of myself overall - personality, health, self respect etc. Plus a reappraisal of my looks, and a tentative conceit that, if you were to stretch the definition to breaking point, I might just possibly be considered to fall within the realms of eye-candy. Tee hee.

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