Tuesday, 25 March 2008

Coming out... being out.

So, Coming Out is pretty much done. Friends know, family knows. Everyone has been pretty much fantastic, though there have been a couple of flies in the ointment recently. Had some hurtful text messages from a former friend who did not take the Big News so well. And, of course, there’s Darren – he came over last night unannounced to collect the last of his things, and to bring back mine, hand back the door key etc. We had a bit of a tearful goodbye, which set the theme for my evening. But! That Was The Love That Was, gentle reader, and we won’t be hearing any more about that here*. This blog is about looking forward!

To that end the next step is to get out there and meet guys. Corrr. As I think I’ve mentioned most of my friends and colleagues are straight, and I’m far too shy to just turn up at the nearest night spot and wait for something to happen.

What to do, what to do?

First step: over the last couple of weeks I’ve joined some dating/chat/etc websites.

The first of these is Gaydar, which strays very much into ‘etc’ territory. I have actually met some really nice people on there and I hope still to get a few of them out on a date (it’s how I met ‘A’), but we’ll see. On the down side there’s one guy who’s been a bit of a scary-stalker type, which isn’t quite what I needed, but I think he’s got the message now (famous last words?). Darren signed me up to it, and he’s on there too, so that might also be a bit awkward… Still, there have been a lot of pressing invitations from a range of charmers, including the offer of a mind-boggling amount of money from a certain older gentlemen to do… well, things I just turned down flat. All very flattering, and a bit of an ego boost; a place to be a bit flirtatious when I'm in the mood.

Next is Guardian Soulmates. This was recommended by a very good friend so I gave it a whirl. It’s quite highbrow; I kinda feel like a bit of rough on there amongst all the lute players, novelists, and PhDs. Soulmates is quite slow, but in a good way – I didn’t want to join another site where you get bombarded with messages (and the rest). I’ve had a message from one guy and another has flagged my profile as being of interest; I’ve also seen a couple of people that drew my interest… so cross-fingers that may lead to something in its own good time.

The most recent site is OUT Everywhere. It’s more of a discussion site and place where activities and events are organised and advertised – next Saturday, for example, I’m going for a ‘gay coffee morning’ close to where I live. There’s also ‘gay country dancing’, ‘gay book club’, ‘gay cinema group’ and presumably ‘gay fight club’… actually that's a bit bitchy; it’s a really good site. I’ve chatted with a few blokes - some in, some out; some in relationships, some single - and it seems a nice safe way of making friends so I’m very hopeful that will yield good things too.

I guess we’ll have to wait and see.


Monty said...

You go out there amongst them and mix it up Mr! Trust me, it gets easier, the more you do it! :-)

czechOUT said...

ahoj Mike

wow, a lot has happened since you started your story.

If you get the chance look at my first posting...something like being LOST having been dumped after 7 years. And here I am some 3 years later married.

Just realise that it will come, sometime,and from where you never know.

Keep posting, cos I'll be checking.