Monday, 3 August 2009


On our way back into London this morning I looked at Fella and even for him he looked good. The end of a lovely weekend; pretty but sad.

We went for dinner on Friday at the Launceston Place restaurant and it was flawless. The food, resentation, wine, service… in a bid to impress insisted on paying for the whole dinner and at a healthy three figures it might raise my bank manager’s eyebrows at least!

I had brought with me to take back to sunny Buckinghamshire a rather fine example of my baking and some fizz which we enjoyed once at Fella’s place. It amused me as much this weekend that we had to share his single, boyhood bed in his small room but on Saturday night he relented and the sofa bed was prepared for Saturday and Sunday. He’s honestly the only person in whose arms I’ve been comfortable sleeping. I’ll certainly miss them tonight.

On Sunday he drove me to Marlow and we wandered along the Thames. Our sense of humour has begun to mesh and from the game of I Spy on the train out of London to the things we laughed about over Sunday lunch, I think we’re beginning to ‘get’ each other much more. I’m so glad I didn’t trip head over heels with this one. However long things last, I’m really please with how things have developed over the last 11 weeks or so. I think perhaps love at first sight is overrated; I wouldn’t swap getting to know him for the world.

Taking things relatively slowly is quite handy in other ways. I am so busy at work it’s useful to let things plateau at once or twice a week. For the time being. Till things progress of their own accord. Of course that supposes not-forever for Fella and I, but to presuppose anything else leads only to angst and so far trust has worked very well.

I’m always sad to part ways with him. It does seem a bit of an effort sometimes. Things aren’t perfect, not by a long way and that’s mostly because of me (relieved to be only human after all, though I am). Perhaps one or two nights a week provides a safety valve, perhaps, till I can grow into the next thing.

I was a bit worried that he was making do. Or that I am, perhaps. Easier to be in a flawed relationship than be brilliant alone. But the way he looked today banished such silly thoughts. I… look forward to things lasting at least a little longer.

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