I have had a lovely few days recently, but there are a small number of negative things that need to be packaged up in no particular order and put out there.
On Saturday after a night out Fella and I were walking back to my place when a group of youths saw us and gave us a lot of hassle. I was holding his hand as we walked, and they spotted it and we got a lot of abuse. It could have been a lot worse but I was pretty shook up. I just kept hold of his hand and we just kept walking… yes it could have been worse but it’s sad. I’ve tried hard not to get too angry about it and be philosophical. The good thing to come out of the incident is a determination never to let go of his hand again wherever we are; and a much clearer understanding that – as ever, as ever, gentle reader, gentle reader – coming out was absolutely the right thing to do.
On Sunday I saw some family who largely live in Italy – though some live in Cyprus. They all know I’m gay and they’re fine with it; though there was an uncomfortable discussion with my aunt when she explained that if I were to come and visit – as I (and Fella) would be most welcome to do – I should be better off coming without my mother as they understand her attitudes are… complex. It made me a bit sad that these delicate negotiations were necessary, but again I’m lucky to have so many good people in my family that I get that support – not in a them/us way, but a holistic we’ll-help-you-manage way. Sadly the penalty for homosexuality in North Cyprus remains life imprisonment so I think for now I choose the sun on my heart over the sun on my skin!
And today… well, International and I are still in touch and he told me today he’s from Ouch and has a new boyfriend. It makes me feel a bit weird even though we would have split up either way and he surely never thought enough of me for it to last. The echoes of past love… I feel a bit guilty as it’s not fair to Fella; and these days he’s likely to be who I’d turn to, to talk about anything. Well, anything else. I’m not sad or regretful that International and I aren’t together. I’d be the greatest fool who ever done lived to choose anyone or anything over Fella.
Tut tut. Onward and ever upward, as they say. Walk on. Think on. Read on…
1 comment:
I'm sorry to hear you got abuse. It does happen. It would happen in my local town and yet not in my local city. I know however that these narrow-minded people are in the minority.
Not all youths are like this. Indeed the majority of young people are not like this in my experience. I guess it's all down to inviduals and how they have been brought up with the attitudes at home.
You keep holding fella's hand - as long of course that it is safe to do so in the circumstances. :) It's the only way the culture of the hetrosexual world is going to change.
I am sorry to hear about international, but on reflection it's probably for the best (know it's easy for me to say!).
Hugs and love as always,
Antony x
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