Tired

Much as I enjoy the work I do it was one of those days today; full of little annoyances – mainly myself for making very minor, but silly errors – missing some people off an email distribution list; missing a deadline by two hours… it’s left me feeling a bit down and withdrawn!

Sadly after my weekend I am feeling somewhat unlikely to get some TLC for the time being. See, on Sunday I arranged to meet yet another guy locally – absolutely gorgeous, sorted, nearby, various other nice attributes; virtually everything I would look for in Mr Right I suppose. But, when we met he rejected me out of hand; and that of course knocked me off my stroke a bit.

But perhaps it was inevitable, and as I wrote in my last post these things will happen. I suppose it’s a lesson not to get so caught up in meeting guys for assignations! But on top of being stood up on Saturday it was a bit of a shock. It’s only natural - I like to feel attractive and desirable and that I’m considered worthwhile by people I’d would be or am interested in. Who doesn’t feel like that? Deriving as much of my sexual identity as I do from casual encounters may not necessarily be the best idea in the world; yet on any level it’s not a nice thing to happen.

Nevertheless I like, well, casual sex. And I think one of the (many, many) nice things about being gay – and out - is being able to indulge that side of me as much as I like (!) comfortably and safely. So much so, that though things have been a bit wobbly the last 24 hours perhaps I’ll get over it quite soon...

In fact while I may give myself the week off man flesh, I am chatting to three guys on and off about hooking up at some point; so no doubt there’ll be more to report sooner or later. In the meantime I was talking to a neighbour tonight about how she needs to get back out there after she found herself single toward the end of last year and I can hardly not take my own advice, now can I?

For tonight I think a glass of wine, and a film, and an early night. I'm suddenly very tired and need some quiet, restorative, time to myself; an introvert at heart I remain, gentle reader.

And tomorrow: let the diet continue, the exercise go on. Though an excuse to buy some new clothes is never really to be sniffed at… bring back that sunshine.