I was due to go out with a great friend and former colleague tonight, but sadly she had to cancel. We will catch up next week I hope; but this disappointing change to my plans did allow me to see International tonight.
It always amazes me that when I’m with him everything and everyone around simply melts away. I do hope our passionate tonsil hockey in The Stag didn’t put-off too many of that place’s clientele.
In between the muches smooches we did discuss, he and I, me and him and Ouch and stuff. The upshot is I am clear that Ouch is (as International put it) ‘besotted’ with him – as am I of course. And International acknowledged that therefore someone is likely to get hurt. Furthermore he was candid enough to argue that this someone may well be me. I in turn reiterated that if he does me wrong I’ll burn his house down.
Annoyingly he beat me to saying “I love you”. I was hoping to make my declaration of undying love first, you see! I did play “I love you” Top Trumps by telling International I’ve never loved anyone like I love him (thus I win) which engendered more discussion about Darren and how my love for him compares.
From there we moved to fidelity and monogamy and such; International asked me again not to see other people. This prompted me to raise intimacy between International and Ouch; I can hardly protest if and when it occurs; hence my protest against International’s assertion he has the right to tell me how to conduct my vududium. I explained I am happy for us to be open or monogamous (monogamous being the ideal) and indeed he can have two boyfriends if that’s what he wants; but until things are sorted …
Actually, my endless crusade of dissonance and vacillation continues; my resolve crumbled pretty quickly and, once again, until at least next time, I do not intend to play away. I know, I know! My counsellor will have a thing or two to say about it at the very least.
In other news my work is so busy that I’ve been banned from taking annual leave until the end of March. Boo! But it’s nice to be needed… I find out tomorrow more about what my role will become in the future – but it is ironic that it comes when I’m finally on top of things. Three months on 1 December in my new role. Somehow it seems longer!
Enough of my waffling. Enjoy some Culture.
4 comments:
has it ever crossed your mind that he wants you not to sleep someone else because of the chance of you getting an STI. Once you get an STI, then it will all be revealed to Ouch/
No, I don't think that's a significant factor in International's thinking. But it might be fun to ask him ;-)
Assuming that I were to catch an STI, and I take all reasonable care not to, he and I practise safe sex in any event. And as he is no longer intimate with Ouch even if he caught an STI it would not automatically mean Ouch 'finding out'.
Mike
It's difficult and I suspect, as you write, someone is going to get hurt...
Is there a chance that the 3 of you can live together?
Failing that, hmm. I'm now wondering if International is a bit of a coward. Perhaps it's not worrying about the effect on Ouch so much as his own desire not to upset the status quo.
Is it beginning to feel a little like the classic Mistress and carrot thing-I will leave her, just not this month, not until Christmas is over, after her parents come for Easter, after our summer holiday, just not this month, not until Christmas is over...?
ahoj
It remains to be seen how quickly I'll get tired of the situation. My next post will discuss a lot of that; but I am pleased I can make demands of his time at least and I am not left sitting at home alone wiaitng for the phone to ring.
As for people getting hurt; I have to accept it will happen and try to mitigate that event.
The three of us living together was a non-starter btw :-)
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