Tuesday, 11 November 2008

Shine

So International spent the night last night. It was, as always, very pleasant; candlelight and wine. Music and smooches. Whispered promises of love everlasting between moments of utter breathlessness… I tell you one thing gentle reader, he is an attentive lover.

One thing he is not is a morning person, which his something I will have to get used to I fear. International was Mr Moody Pants, and got in a temper when I called him Mr Moody Pants. So I amended it to Mr Gorgeous Pouting Moody Pants. But I myself was still somewhat irritated so in town we went for a coffee before we parted to ‘make up’.

No, it wasn’t a row. But it was something that I realised later I do with all of my ‘boyfriends’, which is this; I get very irritated when they first insinuate themselves into my space. And when irritated – or having had but 3 hours sleep - ‘my space’ extends for about 3 miles in any direction. Harry is one notable victim of this trait. So, in many ways, I’m glad it’s done.

Nevertheless, I am somewhat dismayed that International may not now be visiting me on 17 November, his birthday, as he may be ‘too tired’ after flying in from Strasbourg. Though we still will be spending some time together that week, as Ouch is away - thus allowing me to temporarily occupy the geist of Ouch. But yes; dismayed. Enough to ask if… well, are we gong to see each other again? The answer I am assured is yes… for now.

A couple of close and dear friends staged an Intervention as Das Boot tonight. They expressed deep concern that International was trying to have his cake and eat it; that I was being manipulated; that International was going to break my heart. In many ways the voice of experience cautioning me – quite reasonably – about repeating their mistakes. Trying, as it was put, to be the friend they wish they’d had.

I was, I will admit, very occasionally irritated by this intervention. But they raise valid issues and I appreciate the care and attention. Honest. But what can I say? Rule Six is there for a reason and… I have no defence. Rule Five is there for a reason too. So I may be setting myself up for a fall. But to my own personal credit these are arguments I am unafraid to raise with himself. This I did not dwell on tonight, but no-one knows how much it means to have someone say to me “I love you”. And how much it means to be able to say it back.

My team was consumed with work today and the appointed hour passed us by unnoticed. For shame. Yet ill remembered is still not forgotten…


1 comment:

P.Brownsey said...

'...no-one knows how much it means to have someone say to me “I love you”. And how much it means to be able to say it back.'

What does "I love you" mean coming from someone capable of betraying the one he (supposedly) loves, as he has betrayed Ouch? And how long do you reckon it will be before he does the same to you?

Paul Brownsey