Monday, 5 October 2009


It seems autumn is well and truly apon us and the nights are drawing in. How lucky, then, am I to have a gorgeous guy to keep me warm through the long cold nights.

Yes, as many of you queried both with your comments and emails, my week long absence from this blog is due to making up with Fella in the nicest possible way. Thank you all for your lovely comments. They were, as always, a source of great reassurance and are much appreciated.

Last week, in the midst of our crisis, I sent him some flowers and he thanked me. This was pretty much the icebreaker though conversation was rather stilted. I’ll be honest – the fact that flowers got him to talk when “I love you” didn’t rankles slightly still. But, in fairness, I suspect he was worried about where we were at and what happens next. And actions speak louder than words.

On Wednesday I bit the bullet and asked him to call me. He wasn’t answering my calls and it was getting to the point it was affecting my work. I think he may never know how close he came… if he had refused to call me then that would have been that.

Nevertheless, call he did; and those five minutes probably did more than anything else to sort us out. I explained there was nothing to worry about but our communication simply wasn’t working right now so we needed to chat to sort it out. He in turn reassured me I had nothing to worry about; that we are OK.

Friday was the first time we met since the row. It was his leaving-do from his previous job. A small affair, but he was very affectionate and we didn’t sty out too late. We slept in Saturday morning, before going into town for an early dinner and then on to the church for another concert. This time it was exactly my kind of music; baroque, played on period instruments. I loved it.

On Sunday we had a birthday lunch for one of Fella’s exes… hmmm, not a huge fan if meeting the exes but on the other hand I’ve become friends with many of HIS friends so it’s difficult to avoid that kind if thing… and anyway, by the end of it all it was as if it had never happened.

One thin I will comment on is that this affair will have longer term consequences, both good and bad. We are better at talking. But I’m disappointed by some of the behaviours displayed on both our parts. It took a lot of effort to get through this and a number of my friends were concerned it wasn';t worth continuing given what was going on and how I was feeling. Nevertheless, taking the rough with the smooth, I am glad we’re back on an even keel and very glad that we’re still together.


Antony said...

Yeah I've noticed autumn too lol.

I'm really pleased you've sorted things out - a testiment to how far you've come with your communication maybe?

Love and hugs,

A x x

etre-moral-etre-sincere said...

Mike, I am really glad to read that.

But I’m disappointed by some of the behaviours displayed on both our parts.

Fair enough, but look on the bright side - no one is born mistake-free, what counts is the ability to acknowledge a mistake and learn from it. We are all learning - so best of luck to you and Fella.

Miguel said...

I never had any doubt that things would work out. You seem to be a "man of substance". This 'crisis' has opened the door for deeper relations and at least has shown you both that there is some level of commitment forming. Now you both have a great trip to Paris to look forward to. And It couldn't have come at a better time. Best Wishes.

Mike said...

Thanks all, again :-)

I am really glad things are working out. Paris is the next big thing... but of course I suspect there'll be more ups-and-downs to blog about in the meantime!

Monty said...

Whereas, here in the Emerald City, summer is approaching! Yay! :-)

meeting exes - it happens. Trust me, I've met more of McBrad's exes than I can number, and he's met plenty of mine. He's actually become very good friends with one of my past gentleman callers (Mac - I blogged about him ages ago) and I'm now in regular email contact with one of his exes (who lives in the UK). We're all adults here - yes, we all have a past. But it's the PAST. So no need to worry about that.

Glad you've got through your little glitch!


Mike said...

It's funny; Fella doesn't like meeting my exes at all. Fair enough - he's not threatened. He's just judgemental ;-)

I shall review your Mac posts with interest...