Monday, 26 October 2009


I’ve already hit on the place I would like to take Fella for his next birthday… New York! Well, it’s an idea. I’ve never been; and Fella apparently likes the place very much. And I have a year to plan for it.

Of course, I still want to go to China. At some point. That trip I will probably do by myself; so I’m not really looking forward to being away from Fella for a couple of weeks.

In the meantime I am thinking of taking him in early December to meet my mother. She lives in Germany, so it would be at the very least another long weekend. He’s met my aunt and uncle and some cousins… but I’ve met his parents and so I think it’s time he met mine. The one that’s available at least!

He’s quite reticent, though. Annoyingly so, in fact. Admittedly it is because my mother isn’t exactly a huge fan of the gay thing. She’s… OK with it. Just not happy about it. Now that is annoying! So I can understand why he feels the way he does.

So Fella is not keen to meet her at all. I decided not to push it at the time as it would only precipitate a row. Instead we talked about it this weekend just gone; he’s booked some time off work. I just need to approach my mother and find out if it would be OK to come over… I would be very, very disappointed if she decided not. I mean, it really ought to be done at some point, don’t you think gentle reader?

I’ve never taken anyone to meet my parents. So it’s a big thing on many levels. However, as insurance against any… awkwardness there are a few family members passing through the weekend we’re planning to visit so – safety in numbers?

Overall I’m disappointed that my relationship with my mother has suffered with me coming out. I know it’s worse for some of you out there, gentle reader, so I can’t complain too much. Yet this anti-goldilocks scenario of the worst of both worlds is somewhat draining.

We shall have to see how it goes… stay tuned for the next instalment of the Cheerful Fairy’s Adventures on Parentville!


Nik_TheGreek said...

Wow... That for me would be a huge step.
I came out to my parents this summer and for the time being cannot think of letting them meet the guy I'm dating (and it's even harder since I'm single).
I'm really happy for you for doing this.. Go for it...

Mike said...

I read your poost on coming out. I'm glad you did it; I hope you are too. It's been two years, nearly, since I told my mother I am gay. It still seems soon to introduce her to a boyfriend; and it remains to be seen whether it all works out :-)

Antony said...

Mike, I am a little gutted to hear about your strained relationship with you mum. Perhaps before fella meets her you could do some work to improve your relationship with your mum? Maybe call her a few times or write to her (scrap the writing, posties are on strike I think).

Wouldn't harm anything and maybe the catalis for improving your relationship and rebuilding it with your mum.

I was lucky, me and my mum have always been close. And she always brought us up "it's not what you are. Its about how you treat others,". So she was fine when I came out.


Antony x

Mike said...

It's a disappointment to be sure; but I think the process of coming out is an ongoing one and with some people it's an uphill struggle. I'm not sure this is the right time to bring Fella round to meet her, but if not now then when?

Gauss Jordan said...

(getting caught up on your blog -- my reader for some reason wasn't getting new posts!)

I came out back in February to my parents. I'm in a similar boat. I think my mom's somewhere between "okay, but..." and "are you sure" at this point. I'm dating someone now, but I can't fathom introducing him to her.

Good luck!