Communication

Communication is, I am told, one of the most fundamental elements that make up any relationship. Fellow blogger Anthony is but one of many people who have given me some sound advice about communication in relationships; what to say, what not to say, and how to say it!

Now, consider if you will, gentle reader, my quandary. I am an introvert; raised in a dysfunctional family; was in the closet for way too long. I have very little relationship experience. When oh when was I supposed to learn how to communicate well?

And don’t think for a moment my communication problems in any way detract from my massive personality flaws. Oh no, anyone who sticks with me for even the smallest period of time is dancing through a veritable minefield of grumpy, frumpy, over sensitive, English-is-my-second-language fairyness. The mind fair boggles.

As I’m the angst ridden type who would prefer to wreck a relationship because then at least he knows where he stands, I fear that Fella and I have hit what may be described as a rocky patch. Though as it’s barely been a month “a rocky patch” might be doing our nascent relationship too much credit. Having said that let us focus on the good before we settle down for a nice long rant:

- we have lots of fun together;
- the sex is great;
- we’re doing lots of coupley things;
- we’re in virtually constant touch;
- I’ve managed to avoid the trap of getting thoroughly infatuated;

Oh yes, that’s right. I have managed not to take a flying leap off the cliff face, but instead stand on the edge considering whether the leap is worth my while this time. And that’s good, isn’t it?

But! Yeah… saw that coming, didn’t you?…

He won’t Communicate. By that I mean I know what he’s had for lunch and what his favourite colour is; yet he won’t acknowledge compliments, discuss his feelings or even reply to direct questions. We can’t do certain things – silly things; watch Family guy or listen to Bach – because of his ex. But he won’t talk about his ex. As I said before, I’m not asking for a declaration of undying love but this feeling that he’s constantly pulling back is beginning to get to me. I'm worried very much in particular he's on the rebound...

The only ‘solution’ I have is to go with the flow. I don’t know how to draw him out if he simply ignores a direct question; but I’m not so self assured that I can be just fine with it. So then, do I sit by irritated and try to let things pass or do I keep pushing. Both strategies have their risks. I’d like to keep seeing him to see if something develops; I’d prefer this not to be another two month angst-athon where all my friends patient wait for me to balls it up before my attention is drawn by the next guy, and the next guy, and the next guy. But I don’t know what else to do.