Disgusted of Woolwich

I’m going to take things a bit easy on the fuzunjulation front, at least for a little while. It’s been a bit of a whirlwind and today’s activities have given me cause to pause for thought.

The assignation was a local guy, very similar to me in many respects, but who wanted to meet on neutral territory in the form of a local cottage. It really has been a while – nearly two years I think – since I’ve done anything like that so I was surprisingly nervous as I headed out to meet him. I don’t mind al-fresco, even if the opportunities in this climate are limited. And the thought of getting caught doesn’t turn me on but beyond a certain threshold I simply do not care. My nervousness related to something else, and it was only after the encounter that I realised what it was; I don’t want to go backwards.

I don’t want to go back to bus-shelters and photo-booths and alleyways. So I’ll be sticking with the internet from now on, and enjoying my meets in the comfort to which I have become used! Talk about being reminded of more than you want to remember… but enough of that.

You see, if not backward then we must forward go – don’t you agree, gentle reader? And to that end I have a date, yes a date, on Christmas Eve.

I was on gaydar late this lunchtime seeing who was around but pretty half-heartedly after earlier events when a guy got in touch. Cute, local, the ideal age… well, naturally I replied and we ended up chatting for ages. Hit it off, if you will. So chat became text messages; text messages became a phone call; a phone call became lunch on Wednesday.

Very pleased with myself, for two reasons. Firstly, I asked him out, which is relatively rare for me. And I did it properly; “you seem really nice and I’d like to get to know you better so…” rather than “let’s make it shag-plus and have a drink somewhere first.”.

The second reason is, and I hope this makes sense, is I want to meet him because he seems really sweet and nice and I do want to know him better. This rather than the usual thing of being pleased someone has expressed an interest and going with it. Pursuing rather than being pursued (even if only perfunctorily).

Anyway, it promises to be a good date and a nice way of starting Christmas off properly. I’ll still be looking for the odd guy here and there for casual fun but… maybe it’s time to calm down and think about what happens next.