Tuesday, 15 March 2011


Being an introverted and nerdy Fairy I took great delight in completing our census forms.

This is the second time I have completed the forms, and when I was posting the paperwork back I began to ponder the last ten years and how things have changed.

Where was I ten years ago?

I was in the middle of totally loving my first job since graduating. It paid next to nothing and I shortly after left because there was nowhere for me to go... but it was great. In those days I smoked and back then you could still – just – smoke in the office.

The office also had its own rather extensive wine cellar – it was, and is, a regulatory body traditionally headed by a member of the House of Lords – so many is a time we wiled away the night in the boardroom making a dent in some worthy plonk.

There were a number of out gay men in the office, which never phased me at all. Thinking about it back then it must have been quite a bit more difficult to be an out gay man in the workplace. No legislation protecting you. Less widespread internet. Less able to be open about any relationship...

I didn’t dare go there, not much anyway; though there was at least one guy was interested. One of those boozy nights we did get down to our underwear... I remember around that time we went out for dinner too. But that was that. Silly me. Instead I embarked on an affair with a female colleague that was short-lived too. Obviously my heart wasn’t in it.

My home was a small one bedroom flat in east London, cheap as chips, and shared with mice and the occasional cockroach. I’d moved there after graduating – and in fact would continue to live alone until the week after I met Fella.

I had my internet connection, and boy was it an eye-opener. I was more nerdy then than I am now, so it was the perfect way to start to learn about who and what I am. I suppose that road if uninterrupted would have led to me coming to terms with my sexuality a bit sooner than I did. Sadly, partly – majorly – because of my neighbour in the flat below mine the process was interrupted. I do believe coming out is a process, rather than a big bang event. And it doesn’t always happen smoothly; or the same for everyone.

Truisms aside it was an interesting time to be alive and by and large I remember the time with great fondness. Who isn’t fond of being young? It certainly helped make me who I am today. Who knows, gentle reader, where I will be in 10 years’ time. And what I will be looking back on.


Nik_TheGreek said...

It seems you evolved and progressed quite nicely... Well done.
If you could get a chance what would you have told yourself as an advice back then?

Mike said...

Ah, that is a good question... and one for a post all it's own :-)

Antony said...

Hi Mike,

Not been on in a while with stuff going on, so don't think I'm spamming you now ha ha! Just playing catch up, I read your blog with great interest.

I agree that coming out is a process, the end of the process I believe when it's not actually that important to you, being a gay man and you don't feel the need to come out at all. I'm still working on that, most of the time I'm ok, but sometimes it still seems to me that it's important for me to disclose my sexuality to people. Sometimes complete strangers lol.

A x