Wednesday, 11 August 2010

Another year...

On Sunday it was my birthday. Another year older! The Cheerful Fairy has graced the stage for 33 years, even if for most it was as an understudy ;-)

For my present Fella got me goldfish, and – with some neat foresight there I might add – a tank to keep them in. We're collecting the fish on Saturday as apparently the tank needs to settle for a few days, water and all, before the fish can be introduced. I'm very excited, gentle reader, to be having fish – which I've wanted for so long. I did have fish once before, ad three were gitfted to me as a Christmas bonus from my first job – but I killed them with love. I aim to do rather better this time!

Also, Fella arranged a surprise birthday lunch for me with our friends on the day itself which was rather special. It was great to have so many people come out to celebrate; Fella must have worked very hard! I am racking my brains about what to do for his birthday next month...

So, here I am, over the threshold of another year. A worthwhile and busy job, a loving family, great friends, starting my degree in September, living with my gorgeous guy, and engaged to be marrificated.

How about that?

Yeah. Engaged...

OK, cards on the table. Objectively, in my heart of hearts, I think it's a bit soon. Or maybe that the timing is a bit out. Well, if that's my opening gambit maybe I don't quite know exactly what I think! But still.

I adore my Fella but I wonder if you too have pondered on the fact that we have been together for only 14 months and have lived together for about two. Indeed, we have had our ups and downs to say the least. I have wondered if Fella has a timetable all his own on which my feelings, or indeed some practical issues, have little impact.

For example, I'm about to start a very expensive two-year post-graduate course of study. As such, saving for a wedding is going to be difficult and probably impossible. I refuse to borrow against the cost, as married life will impose its own costs

Having said that a long engagement is helpful – 2013 ahoy! – because it gives us a chance to work on being a couple. It means we can get our other commitments out of the way – Fella is on a two year career development programme himself. And it means our friends who are engaged now can get married without us stealing their thunder!

Plus I need time to get used to the whole... grown upness of it all. In gay years I'm still only about 25; I'd not quite realised my days as a young man about Strumpetville were so soon to be permanently over!

Most of all waiting a while gives me a chance to plan. Being surprised with the proposal is really the issue here – I like to plan and be in control. It will give me a chance to be a full part of this wedding lark, and ideally beyond... everything is going well; domestic bliss to be sure. I'm looking forward to getting started on our life together J


MadeInScotland said...

Happy birthday.

Too soon, nah! You know if it's the one, or not.

Xfe and I agreed he should move in after our 3rd date, and we were married just over a year later.


Nik_TheGreek said...

Happy Birthday! All the best to you and your loved ones.
You really do have some busy years planned ahead. Good luck!

Monty said...

My gorgeous Mike, I think that's MARVELLOUS news! Congratulations! It's awesome to see the journey that you've been on for the last couple of years!!! :-)

MadeInScotland said...

Did you see this? We're in the top 10 uk LGBT blogs. According to some resource (for journalists I think!)

Made in Scotland: Top Gay Blog!


Wendy said...

Congratulations! I think you need to trust your intuition and what your mind is telling you. Maybe some pre-marital counseling to discuss what both of your expectations, fears, hopes, etc are and how you both deal with money, big issue for every couple whatever their sexual preference! Then decide from there if both of you are ready or not. It is a big step and I think for anyone being a "grown up" is knowing when to move ahead or not. And I hope your fish bring you much pleasure and happiness :)

Gauss Jordan said...

Happy Birthday guy, and congrats. Getting engaged is a big, big deal. For me, personally, just making the move from "going out," to "boyfriends" is a huge one.

And two years is only 24 months. This month's already half-over, so that's 23. And the month of the wedding itself is basically a lost cause for any personal life, so that's 22. You'll have a Christmas or two in there as well, which we'll credit 0.5 months of distraction, so in reality, you have 21.5 months to get this thing planned. Go. ;-)

Antony said...


I'm really pleased it is going so well for you, you deserve happiness.

I know things have been difficult in the past, but that's part of life. You've always handled situations incredibly well and with a great deal of thought - continue to do this.

Big hugs,

A x

Mike said...

Thanks all for your wishes. I really apprewciate it. Can't believe I'm in the top 10 gay blogs; but I'm glad so many of you are head of me!! As we go forward we'll certainly learn a lot more about each other; and it will be a long engagement - as an upcoming post of wedding plans will let you know!