Monday, 1 April 2013

Six weeks...

There are but six weeks to go until Fella and I have our civil partnership. The planning and preparation, I must admit, are taking a huge amount of time – most of our spare time now! I do not know how we would have managed to get as far as we have without everyone involved getting on with each other (florists, caterers etc) and having friends who are helping out with big things like the rings, the cake, etc.

Still, the logistics are still somewhat daunting. For example, we need to let the registrar know in writing two weeks before the ceremony if we want to dispense with the kiss at the end of the ceremony. And the holistic interconnectedness of all things: the colour of the flowers affects the colour of the suit; the music we choose affects the order of the ceremony. And then there is what we may not do: no religious symbols; we may not bring the cake to the venue until the day of the ceremony;  and so on.
One thing all the planning and organisation has revealed is some of the funny attitudes people have about things. I’ve touched on ‘reverse discrimination’ before but the things people expect about our wedding, and things around it, have been quite an eye opener. In some ways it raises the bar for us a little [OOOO, I’ve never been to a gay wedding before!!] but it seems, gentle reader, that some people half expect us to go down the aisle on unicorns and Liza Minnelli is our celebrant. Whilst this may be true, it has been surprising discovering some of the assumptions people carry about.

We have, much to Fella’s annoyance, been various asked about our hen do; bridesmaids; and maid of honour. Now I need hardly point out to you the obvious but it is startling how many people need remind that we are two men, and as such we have entirely dispensed with the bride in our arrangements. Yet the ability of people to add two and two and get wibble seems insurmountable. It has proven a little handy, in that one of our friends has only been allowed the day off work on the grounds that she is a chief bridesmaid. Not wishing to look a gift dissonance in the mouth we’ve made her an usher.

For me, I’m just keen for people to have as much fun as possible without getting consumed into making every last detail perfect (for that way madness lies, wibble). It will be the people that will make it enjoyable. That and six weeks of intense dieting.


Antony said...

Have a fantastic civil partnership ceremony!

I get what you say about the usually hetrosexual family and friends that don't get the lack of a female when it comes to stag & hen parties and I understand the expectations of Oh...I've never been to a gay wedding before.

My advice would be - as long as you and fella organise the day so that you enjoy it; so will everybody else. As after all those people are coming together to celebrate your love and the commitment you make to one another.

Have a fantastic day! And we expect a FULL report.

Take care,

A x

Mike said...

I am become Bridezilla!

It can only really work if I accept that it's a big party and people will have to enjoy themselves as best they can. German efficiency allows for little comfort!!