Tuesday, 21 February 2012


Time is marching on gentle reader, and it is time for another postcard from Strumpetville.

Where is your cheerful fairy at then?

Life goes on – except for some of course it doesn’t. Since Fella’s mother died we have had, as is to be expected, our ups and downs. At first he really was very very down but I’ve tried to keep him busy and he’s been very active in organising the funeral, which will be on Thursday. He also has set up a website organising donations to the palliative care team that looked after Laura at the end.

When he’s been at his lowest I have been quite at a loss on how to console him, so it’s been a relief to have something for him to focus on. The funeral itself, I realise whilst typing this, will be tough on him and I think this coming weekend will be another tough one. Of course these things take time. Sometimes I feel – yes, me me me - as bit of a shit as I can’t – just cannot – take time out to really be there for him. That means for example Fella will go up for the funeral tomorrow, whilst I will arrive bang on the start.

Laura passed at the weekend before I started my new role and in the middle of essay writing for college. College is on its final stretch; once the essay is done, then it is exam time and then my dissertation. The pressure is on. Fella understands the demands but I sometimes feel his is a bereavement widow, and the double whammy – despite a very real foundation to our relationship being mutual support as we develop into the people we aim to be – fills me with guilt.

Fortunately my new boss is the head of the LGBT group where I work has had experience of this kind of thing and has been a very good source of advice. And of course friends have been double plus supportive, so once again my gratitude runneth over.

The wheels of life begin to turn again.  Fella and I went out for our belated Valentine’s dinner – as an aside you can imagine how much I adore going out with someone so good looking that four waiters serve him whilst I am studiously ignored *huff*. We did some serious civil partnership planning, which largely consisted of us conceding our initial budget plans were wildly optimistic.

No doubt there will be more to on all this AND MORE to blog about in the near future… the list of things to tell you gets ever longer! Stay tuned


MadeInScotland said...

Life goes on, and in my anticipated experience we'd each have to do our duties and accommodate the other's needs.

As I think you are. Fella shouldn't feel bitter - yours is investment time for the longer term joint benefit. Without, of course, being disproportionate.


GaySocrates said...

Sorry to hear it's tough right now for you guys!
For better, for worse, in sickness and health.... forges the strength of your love in the crucible of your relationship.
Love GS

Mike said...

Thanks for your comments. You're both right, and Fella is doing very well. It has been a month since Laura passed away, so there is still a lot to get over and it will take time be we will get there :-)