Sunday, 28 August 2011

Glass half...

This weekend Fella and I went to Brighton to celebrate the hen-hen do of two of our friends who will have their civil partnership in October. Fella and I drove down there on Friday afternoon, checked in, met our friends and spent the next 36 hours partying.

There is nothing quite like seeing a lesbian flail about in a giant floating hamster ball, going on a 12 pub crawl, or spending an afternoon dressed as a flapper girl to put a smile on the cheerful fairy’s face, gentle reader. We had a great time.

There were 30 of us in total, a fair number I had met, but naturally a great proportion I had not. A few gay men, a fair number of straight women – I met some nice new people and I look forward to seeing them all again in October for the actual ceremony.

Some of our friends were there too. Always good to catch up with some old favourites, including of course the hens. I was quite touched that each of them in their own way did for me a spontaneous act of kindness, from a great big hug to just checking I’m OK.

You see, although I had a great time I did realise, reflected perhaps in the concerns of my friends, that my mood has of late been very dark. You see, from time to time, despite my efforts to see things in a positive light, I will suffer from a period of mild depression.

A fellow blogger recently had his aura photographed; and I find myself wondering what my aura would look like right now. I have to confront the fact I haven’t been very happy for a while now.

Part of it is self-denial. Not having freedom of action will bring me down. I am very restricted in what I can do, job wise, money wise, even where I live for the next two years but all in a worthy cause of course.

Nevertheless, I have a nagging feeling that nothing is quite as it should be in my life; and that applies to my relationship with Fella too. There’s nothing specifically wrong, but I have a strange desire just to get away from it all by myself for a while. I suspect that’s my strong introversion reasserting itself as part of my mood. If I could change one part of myself (that I can’t change, I mean) then I would make myself more of a people person. There is a reason most of my friends are former schoolmates and current or former colleagues.

But I digress.

There is so much to be positive about; that’s what I need to remember. I’ve lost quite a bit of weight; I’ve passed my exams (hurrah); we’re going on a trip to Germany at the end of September. And of course the wonderful friends I do have.

I think a couple of days off, just here, to reboot my silly head and just have some quiet time is in order. In the meantime, you can look forward to some photos and YouTube gold of our trip!


Nik_TheGreek said...

So, in a civil partnership, the same sex couples do their hen or stag dos together?
What's the point of that?

Antony said...

My Darling Mike,

I'm glad you had a good time in Brighton. Can I also commend you on what is a very honest post - you are more honest with yourself and on the blog than I am sometimes. Like you, I also try to see things on the positive side.

In spiritualism there's a theory of geopathic stress. The theory goes that we are all connected to one another and because of this have the capacity to feel what others do despite what's going on in our own life.

Have you ever had one of those friends that after you've seen them you feel totally drained and a little down yourself after they've wittered on about all the negative things in their life? That's a term in spiritualism called being empathic. Geopathic stress is kind of like that but on a much bigger scale.

I think everyone's feeling down at the moment. Not just the people in my life, or nationally but internationally. Just look at the anger and upset in the media, the riots - people are fed up of corrupt politicians, corrupt media, the financial state (increase in costs, people's jobs being at risk, etc.).

So what's the positive in all this? Well yes, it will more than likely get worse, but after that it will get much MUCH better. :D So let's ride these tough times together; remembering what's important (people). I think if we all try to find joy in each day and create some joy for another we will all feel much better.

Much love and positivity,

Antony x

Mike said...

Hi Anthony,

Thank you for your lovely long comment. Thank you for your kind wishes and for taking the time to write so much.

I really do feel looking on the positive side and trying to find the good in any situatiuon is the right thing to do, and in some ways I'm a little intolerant of negativity. However, sometimes someone as introverted as me finds people to be VERY draining and it becomes a little tough.

I also agree there are huge social problems that you can almost taste in the air at the moment and that is a tough one too, but an area I am more able to witter on about (see Strumpetvil en Flambe)!! All in all we need to focus on the positive indeed, and find those things that bring us and others joy - just as you write.


Nik - LOL we split into two competing hen do's and tried to outdo each other. There was much rejoicing!