Monday, 8 November 2010

Chillaxin... hard

I had a thoroughly unproductive weekend, gentle reader. By that I mean that I did nothing at all but relax (and go to the supermarket with Fella for some supplies).
This week and next I have no classes, so I am taking full advantage the opportunity of doing nothing. It feels weird; when I write unproductive I mean it. I like to have done something each day, be it studying, cleaning, working... whatever. However, while I am still working to accommodate all the demands on my time I am conscious of the risk of burning-out; and without the prospect of a holiday any time soon it was probably wise to chillax and be confronted only by the problem of nothing being on tele.

Truth be told I don’t really like it. I become restless, suffer from cabin fever in a way. Nevertheless, once in a while it is necessary.

The need to get something done has, perhaps oddly, caused me to think about the work I do; my job. I am employed as a flexible resource flexing between roles, putting right what once went wrong and hopping that my next flex is the flex home... Currently I am business manager to a team that is implementing the Government’s new healthcare policies. The really means midwifing a whole new structure whilst achieving quite a difficult cultural change in an environment that politely might be described as brothlike, whilst suffering too many cooks. I manage a team of four lovely and extraordinarily capable ladies, one of whom is friend C who kindly followed me to my new role after we had worked together in my old one for more than a year.
The focus of my thoughts is my legacy, I suppose. How am I going to achieve the things I want to achieve in the six months or so remaining to me in this role? It’s a real challenge and most days I come home not really liking it! But it’s a fantastic opportunity and being a business manager sure opens doors. Plus I get access to very senior people indeed which is a great learning opportunity. And for my plans I have their support. So, what to do?

Instead of writing a list of things to do, I am writing a list of things to achieve. Any task I need to undertake has to be linked to the ultimate outcome. I have found this new viewpoint rather helpful. Instead if what I need to get done by the end of the day, I decide what needs to be done by the end of the week, say, and focus on what I deem necessary to achieve that.

My job is important to me and I don’t want to move on thinking I hadn’t done some good. I like to think since coming out I have had the same attitude in my personal life, though that’s less critical with Fella – the act of being together is the object, not a tool. Maybe it’s time to achieve that same... peace... in my work! In six months. In the meantime, how to keep chillaxin???

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