Well, haven’t I just had the most wonderful day!
As arranged ‘V’ came over at about 10:30 and we spent most of the morning, and much of the afternoon too, playing.
Taking a blanket and some champagne to the top floor of my glass-fronted building was a stroke of genius… but making an exhibition of myself was just part one of today’s entertainment, and today’s entertainment just went on for hours. I’m quite sore in various places (sorry, gentle reader – trying hard not to ‘kiss and tell’) and there is a reasonable chance I’ve dislocated my leg. Wow.
Yes, for some reason with him I find it easy to be… adventurous, or aggressive, or physical, take your pick - whereas with other guys it’s difficult sometimes to get up the courage to peck them on the cheek. Just something about 'V' I suppose.
I had an amazing time today and hopefully he did too (oh, I know he did, it's just that I doubt I did for him what he did for me – this guy is good!).
But, being an old softie at heart, one of the nicest things about today was that we spent so much time just kissing, talking, and lying in each-other’s arms; that is the kind of thing that helps to make my day too. He sent me a lovely message later today and occasionally I still smell him as I sit here writing this. All in all a pretty lovely day. Ahhh yes, gentle reader, beneath my slightly frumpy exterior there is a romantic soul. Admittedly sharing accommodation with a tart, but romantic nonetheless.
When he left this afternoon I gave him a great big goodbye kiss and absolutely made sure he was welcome to come back for more soon. And since he left I’ve had this kind of buzz where I don’t want to analyse the day too much but I am on a kind of natural high…
As for the rest of the week, there’ll be plenty to blog about. I now have a date with ‘N’ on Tuesday, in addition to Wednesday’s festivities… Maybe I should try and get some sleep at some point?
Monday, 31 March 2008
Sunday, 30 March 2008
The Domesticated Slattern
So this Sunday gone I’m the domestic type; I go into town, buy some plants, a dust-pan and brush, and a plunger. I clear the winter’s victims from my balcony and plant some new ones, I tidy up the place, arrange a couple of dates, and throw the rubbish out. Then I take a walk along the river to enjoy the extra hour of daylight and (a rare thing for me) having done a bit of shopping I head back and settle in to watch some tele.
Hmm?
Oh yes, the information superhighway being the gift that keeps on giving, it is but the work of a moment, gentle reader, to arrange to meet some guys whilst also cleaning the bath.
The first is ‘E’, a civil servant who works nights (which I don’t quite get, but stay tuned). I’m meeting him on Wednesday at about 4pm at this floating pub/bar I know in Westminster; a lovely venue where my colleagues and I regularly go for a drink. They will on this occasion, however, be under strict instructions to go elsewhere!
He needs to be in work for about 8pm anyway, which his fine as I’m due to meet ‘A’ (a different ‘A’ from the one before) at 8:30 when he finishes work. He’s quite flirtatious so we’re still messaging four hours later. But, it’s shaping up to be a good night.
In the meantime, of course, I’m texting gorgeous ‘V’ about tomorrow and suggesting that if he tries this, then that leaves my hands free to do…
Hmm?
Oh yes, the information superhighway being the gift that keeps on giving, it is but the work of a moment, gentle reader, to arrange to meet some guys whilst also cleaning the bath.
The first is ‘E’, a civil servant who works nights (which I don’t quite get, but stay tuned). I’m meeting him on Wednesday at about 4pm at this floating pub/bar I know in Westminster; a lovely venue where my colleagues and I regularly go for a drink. They will on this occasion, however, be under strict instructions to go elsewhere!
He needs to be in work for about 8pm anyway, which his fine as I’m due to meet ‘A’ (a different ‘A’ from the one before) at 8:30 when he finishes work. He’s quite flirtatious so we’re still messaging four hours later. But, it’s shaping up to be a good night.
In the meantime, of course, I’m texting gorgeous ‘V’ about tomorrow and suggesting that if he tries this, then that leaves my hands free to do…
Kill Saturday, Volume II
“This knight was indeed a valiant Gent: but not a little given to romance, when he spake of himself.” John Evelyn, 1651
So tonight I had a date, with ‘O’, a lawyer who mostly works abroad and was in the UK for one more night only.
Being slightly gullible, after I get back from the coffee morning, we exchange a few emails and I agree to go to his place because the weather is crap and it seems like a nice idea to stay in for our first date. (What’s that? Yeah, I’ll come all the way across town in said weather to facilitate your booty call. Duuuuuh... hairspray rhymes with lipstick)
But actually he’s really nice and we go to his and have a beer, talk and talk, coy looks, moving closer… and…
Then his mother rings to remind him the clocks are going forward tonight (bless), which serves to cool the ardour somewhat. Hmmm. Yet it’s OK, because we talk some more, particularly about him being ‘in’ and me being ‘out’ (lol), we watch a film, and I leave.
The thing, though, being the thing, is this; I want, with this one, there to be a date two, and I said as much to him, so hopefully, when next in good ol’ Blighty, we’ll hook up again.
Now then, gentle reader: the fact he’s a tall handsome successful lawyer with a gorgeous pad in the centre of the city and is away three weeks in four is nothing, nothing, to do with it at all. Shame on you.
So tonight I had a date, with ‘O’, a lawyer who mostly works abroad and was in the UK for one more night only.
Being slightly gullible, after I get back from the coffee morning, we exchange a few emails and I agree to go to his place because the weather is crap and it seems like a nice idea to stay in for our first date. (What’s that? Yeah, I’ll come all the way across town in said weather to facilitate your booty call. Duuuuuh... hairspray rhymes with lipstick)
But actually he’s really nice and we go to his and have a beer, talk and talk, coy looks, moving closer… and…
Then his mother rings to remind him the clocks are going forward tonight (bless), which serves to cool the ardour somewhat. Hmmm. Yet it’s OK, because we talk some more, particularly about him being ‘in’ and me being ‘out’ (lol), we watch a film, and I leave.
The thing, though, being the thing, is this; I want, with this one, there to be a date two, and I said as much to him, so hopefully, when next in good ol’ Blighty, we’ll hook up again.
Now then, gentle reader: the fact he’s a tall handsome successful lawyer with a gorgeous pad in the centre of the city and is away three weeks in four is nothing, nothing, to do with it at all. Shame on you.
Saturday, 29 March 2008
Kill Saturday, Volume I
I do find it difficult to meet men.
You know what I mean? I am absolutely unafraid of messaging men I like online and am quite eager at the end of the day to reply to messages received (unless they’re particularly off-putting). So it goes, back and forth, but…
Whenever I say “let’s meet up/fancy a drink?/do you want to grab a coffee?/etc” it tends not to lead to anything.
One of my strategies, then, is to take part in events organised through OUT everywhere, a site I’ve recently joined. And the first of those was today’s gay coffee morning. Gay coffee posse, sorry. (I know it sounds like I’m taking the piss but I really do recommend it to single men and gay couples; you get a membership card too I discovered!!).
Of course, life being life there are one thousand hurdles to leap. The dishwasher breaks down, thus leaving me to get down on my knees bailing out water and fiddling with electronics, grimy and sweaty and rushing as precious minutes tick away (what could possibly go wrong?!).
I rush out of the house late, at exactly the time it starts raining, the directions to the pub get pulled out of my hand by the wind, and halfway to the station I realise the fly on my jeans is bust and one stray gust could land me in the magistrate’s court.
So; late, lost, wet, flustered, angry, and possibly exposing myself to strangers. O’ Aphrodite, am I a reborn Paris, destined to find his hunky Helen in this modern world? “Yeah, right… Maybe when you lose some weight and do something about your hair!”
Still, the train comes, I adjust myself to within the bounds of common decency and I make my way to the pub, where there is a full and frank exchange of views with the landlord on the concept of “tea”, and coffee in hand I went upstairs to the other bar…
Hurdle #437 is simply this; what is the etiquette of going up to a group of strange men and asking “are you a bunch of gays?”; of course I was discreet but, not having thought it through, I was half expecting a sign or something. Still, room is made for me to sit down and I get chatting and as the afternoon comes around I find myself having a good time; these are nice blokes (mostly) and just having a pleasant time without flirting or whatever. It was good to be relaxed in a no-pressure environment, and I met some nice people that I hope to meet again on a purely platonic level. It was quite the social mixer; one guy brought his guitar and was playing a few songs, and there were a few people who live and work near me that I talked to about this n' that. I learnt that "he likes shopping with his mum" is the euphamism en-vogue in the Church of England to describe us poooftahs. I will, in short, be definitely going to next month’s event. Some people even baked cakes!
You know what I mean? I am absolutely unafraid of messaging men I like online and am quite eager at the end of the day to reply to messages received (unless they’re particularly off-putting). So it goes, back and forth, but…
Whenever I say “let’s meet up/fancy a drink?/do you want to grab a coffee?/etc” it tends not to lead to anything.
One of my strategies, then, is to take part in events organised through OUT everywhere, a site I’ve recently joined. And the first of those was today’s gay coffee morning. Gay coffee posse, sorry. (I know it sounds like I’m taking the piss but I really do recommend it to single men and gay couples; you get a membership card too I discovered!!).
Of course, life being life there are one thousand hurdles to leap. The dishwasher breaks down, thus leaving me to get down on my knees bailing out water and fiddling with electronics, grimy and sweaty and rushing as precious minutes tick away (what could possibly go wrong?!).
I rush out of the house late, at exactly the time it starts raining, the directions to the pub get pulled out of my hand by the wind, and halfway to the station I realise the fly on my jeans is bust and one stray gust could land me in the magistrate’s court.
So; late, lost, wet, flustered, angry, and possibly exposing myself to strangers. O’ Aphrodite, am I a reborn Paris, destined to find his hunky Helen in this modern world? “Yeah, right… Maybe when you lose some weight and do something about your hair!”
Still, the train comes, I adjust myself to within the bounds of common decency and I make my way to the pub, where there is a full and frank exchange of views with the landlord on the concept of “tea”, and coffee in hand I went upstairs to the other bar…
Hurdle #437 is simply this; what is the etiquette of going up to a group of strange men and asking “are you a bunch of gays?”; of course I was discreet but, not having thought it through, I was half expecting a sign or something. Still, room is made for me to sit down and I get chatting and as the afternoon comes around I find myself having a good time; these are nice blokes (mostly) and just having a pleasant time without flirting or whatever. It was good to be relaxed in a no-pressure environment, and I met some nice people that I hope to meet again on a purely platonic level. It was quite the social mixer; one guy brought his guitar and was playing a few songs, and there were a few people who live and work near me that I talked to about this n' that. I learnt that "he likes shopping with his mum" is the euphamism en-vogue in the Church of England to describe us poooftahs. I will, in short, be definitely going to next month’s event. Some people even baked cakes!
Thursday, 27 March 2008
Yum
I have to say I could warm to the single life. For a given value of ‘single’ of course.
Over the last couple of days I have been a bit up and down, literally from one hour to the next. So... late last night in a reckless fit of horniness I sent a couple of guys on gaydar, with whom I had been chatting/flirting anyway (caveats abound, gentle reader), an open invitation to come round and pretty much do whatever they might want.
So, of course I spent most of today kicking myself. Why did I do that (bar the obvious)? What would I do if the reply was yes? What would I do if the reply was no? What would I do if there was no reply? What would I do if the reply was “ew, yuck!”? What would I do if I’d propositioned someone who turned out to be a major client? Aaargh!
Eventually though, when I got home to check if a reply had been sent, I was just relieved to see the reply was “yes please!”; and so I replied and one text message led to another and before you know it my evening is taking one giant leap for the better…
I guess what I wanted in the grand scheme of things was to be with someone just because before I wasn’t (if that makes sense), and occasional random guys here and there didn’t address some fairly clear emotional needs – I’m a sensitive guy, and not just in the vuduedium! So I thought when I was in a relationship “great, this is what I want”. But actually what I need is to be with men, intimately or otherwise, who like me for who I am regardless of what we do, and the context in which we get to know each other.
I had a great time tonight with someone who turned out to be a lot of fun – seriously, the guy can talk dirty at an Olympic level, and talking dirty isn’t something I’m normally into. Plus one major theme of this evening has been a fairly explicit list of fantasies being drawn up, which we’re both going to take Monday off to work through in no particular order (not all, of course; one of my secret favourites can’t be done without some fairly delicate planning, and as for his… well, I’m not dressing as a milkmaid for anyone).
As for the time between then and now: tomorrow I’m going out with lovely friends for the usual “just one…”, Saturday afternoon is a coffee morning with some men in the local area where I hope to meet some new friends, and Saturday evening have a date with ‘O’, who’s damned fine, totally ‘in’, and only stopping off at Airstrip One for a few days… And that should lead us nicely into a quiet Sunday.
Frankly, it is nice to look forward to these things when also feeling a little bit attractive, when learning about the things one really does like, and finding out going out on a limb is never, ever the wrong thing to do.
Yep, things aren’t looking too bad at all right now. Not bad at all...
Over the last couple of days I have been a bit up and down, literally from one hour to the next. So... late last night in a reckless fit of horniness I sent a couple of guys on gaydar, with whom I had been chatting/flirting anyway (caveats abound, gentle reader), an open invitation to come round and pretty much do whatever they might want.
So, of course I spent most of today kicking myself. Why did I do that (bar the obvious)? What would I do if the reply was yes? What would I do if the reply was no? What would I do if there was no reply? What would I do if the reply was “ew, yuck!”? What would I do if I’d propositioned someone who turned out to be a major client? Aaargh!
Eventually though, when I got home to check if a reply had been sent, I was just relieved to see the reply was “yes please!”; and so I replied and one text message led to another and before you know it my evening is taking one giant leap for the better…
I guess what I wanted in the grand scheme of things was to be with someone just because before I wasn’t (if that makes sense), and occasional random guys here and there didn’t address some fairly clear emotional needs – I’m a sensitive guy, and not just in the vuduedium! So I thought when I was in a relationship “great, this is what I want”. But actually what I need is to be with men, intimately or otherwise, who like me for who I am regardless of what we do, and the context in which we get to know each other.
I had a great time tonight with someone who turned out to be a lot of fun – seriously, the guy can talk dirty at an Olympic level, and talking dirty isn’t something I’m normally into. Plus one major theme of this evening has been a fairly explicit list of fantasies being drawn up, which we’re both going to take Monday off to work through in no particular order (not all, of course; one of my secret favourites can’t be done without some fairly delicate planning, and as for his… well, I’m not dressing as a milkmaid for anyone).
As for the time between then and now: tomorrow I’m going out with lovely friends for the usual “just one…”, Saturday afternoon is a coffee morning with some men in the local area where I hope to meet some new friends, and Saturday evening have a date with ‘O’, who’s damned fine, totally ‘in’, and only stopping off at Airstrip One for a few days… And that should lead us nicely into a quiet Sunday.
Frankly, it is nice to look forward to these things when also feeling a little bit attractive, when learning about the things one really does like, and finding out going out on a limb is never, ever the wrong thing to do.
Yep, things aren’t looking too bad at all right now. Not bad at all...
Tuesday, 25 March 2008
Coming out... being out.
So, Coming Out is pretty much done. Friends know, family knows. Everyone has been pretty much fantastic, though there have been a couple of flies in the ointment recently. Had some hurtful text messages from a former friend who did not take the Big News so well. And, of course, there’s Darren – he came over last night unannounced to collect the last of his things, and to bring back mine, hand back the door key etc. We had a bit of a tearful goodbye, which set the theme for my evening. But! That Was The Love That Was, gentle reader, and we won’t be hearing any more about that here*. This blog is about looking forward!
To that end the next step is to get out there and meet guys. Corrr. As I think I’ve mentioned most of my friends and colleagues are straight, and I’m far too shy to just turn up at the nearest night spot and wait for something to happen.
What to do, what to do?
First step: over the last couple of weeks I’ve joined some dating/chat/etc websites.
The first of these is Gaydar, which strays very much into ‘etc’ territory. I have actually met some really nice people on there and I hope still to get a few of them out on a date (it’s how I met ‘A’), but we’ll see. On the down side there’s one guy who’s been a bit of a scary-stalker type, which isn’t quite what I needed, but I think he’s got the message now (famous last words?). Darren signed me up to it, and he’s on there too, so that might also be a bit awkward… Still, there have been a lot of pressing invitations from a range of charmers, including the offer of a mind-boggling amount of money from a certain older gentlemen to do… well, things I just turned down flat. All very flattering, and a bit of an ego boost; a place to be a bit flirtatious when I'm in the mood.
Next is Guardian Soulmates. This was recommended by a very good friend so I gave it a whirl. It’s quite highbrow; I kinda feel like a bit of rough on there amongst all the lute players, novelists, and PhDs. Soulmates is quite slow, but in a good way – I didn’t want to join another site where you get bombarded with messages (and the rest). I’ve had a message from one guy and another has flagged my profile as being of interest; I’ve also seen a couple of people that drew my interest… so cross-fingers that may lead to something in its own good time.
The most recent site is OUT Everywhere. It’s more of a discussion site and place where activities and events are organised and advertised – next Saturday, for example, I’m going for a ‘gay coffee morning’ close to where I live. There’s also ‘gay country dancing’, ‘gay book club’, ‘gay cinema group’ and presumably ‘gay fight club’… actually that's a bit bitchy; it’s a really good site. I’ve chatted with a few blokes - some in, some out; some in relationships, some single - and it seems a nice safe way of making friends so I’m very hopeful that will yield good things too.
I guess we’ll have to wait and see.
To that end the next step is to get out there and meet guys. Corrr. As I think I’ve mentioned most of my friends and colleagues are straight, and I’m far too shy to just turn up at the nearest night spot and wait for something to happen.
What to do, what to do?
First step: over the last couple of weeks I’ve joined some dating/chat/etc websites.
The first of these is Gaydar, which strays very much into ‘etc’ territory. I have actually met some really nice people on there and I hope still to get a few of them out on a date (it’s how I met ‘A’), but we’ll see. On the down side there’s one guy who’s been a bit of a scary-stalker type, which isn’t quite what I needed, but I think he’s got the message now (famous last words?). Darren signed me up to it, and he’s on there too, so that might also be a bit awkward… Still, there have been a lot of pressing invitations from a range of charmers, including the offer of a mind-boggling amount of money from a certain older gentlemen to do… well, things I just turned down flat. All very flattering, and a bit of an ego boost; a place to be a bit flirtatious when I'm in the mood.
Next is Guardian Soulmates. This was recommended by a very good friend so I gave it a whirl. It’s quite highbrow; I kinda feel like a bit of rough on there amongst all the lute players, novelists, and PhDs. Soulmates is quite slow, but in a good way – I didn’t want to join another site where you get bombarded with messages (and the rest). I’ve had a message from one guy and another has flagged my profile as being of interest; I’ve also seen a couple of people that drew my interest… so cross-fingers that may lead to something in its own good time.
The most recent site is OUT Everywhere. It’s more of a discussion site and place where activities and events are organised and advertised – next Saturday, for example, I’m going for a ‘gay coffee morning’ close to where I live. There’s also ‘gay country dancing’, ‘gay book club’, ‘gay cinema group’ and presumably ‘gay fight club’… actually that's a bit bitchy; it’s a really good site. I’ve chatted with a few blokes - some in, some out; some in relationships, some single - and it seems a nice safe way of making friends so I’m very hopeful that will yield good things too.
I guess we’ll have to wait and see.
Monday, 24 March 2008
Smile like you mean it.
… go on. Do it with your mouth.
Is it possible to have a dreadful first date and get exactly what you want anyway? Yes, gentle reader, last night I had a date with ‘A’. Arranged online a while ago, I decided to go despite all that has occurred in recent times. I met him in Town as arranged and he arrived (a fashionable 10 minutes late) just as it began to snow.
So we walk down the road, him taking the lead because I suggested we could go somewhere he knows, the snow falling and small talk being had. It could have been a bit more romantic if I hadn’t been ridiculously under-dressed, thus freezing, and thinking “oh crap; snow. The hair! The hair!!” (this is the point where anyone who knows me falls about laughing).
We eventually find a pub and he sits us down right next to the toilets – nice! – before we proceed to chat about this and that and slowly, slowly, discover we pretty much hold opposite views about every little thing and that we don’t really get on.
The irony is that for all of this I found myself having a pretty good time. Here he was, someone I was not ‘clicking’ with on any level, and with whom I was under no circumstances going to sleep. Yet for all the dour cynicism of the Scotsman named ‘A’, for all his inability to have a nice word to say anything, and for all his inability to keep his eyes off the other guys in the bar (oh, and for all I was thinking “26? Are you sure?”) I did enjoy myself.
Why?
Because this was exactly what I needed. I want to date, and I had me a date. A couple of hours, a couple of drinks, a chat, a realisation that it wasn’t going anywhere, and us parting on good terms - me to go home, him to get chips apparently (you can take the boy out of Glasgow…). Yet strangely exceedingly pleasant!!
And for the next time, I’m going to the gym more, buying new, better clothes and being a bit more circumspect about picking up men online. Yep, going to do at least two of those things...
Is it possible to have a dreadful first date and get exactly what you want anyway? Yes, gentle reader, last night I had a date with ‘A’. Arranged online a while ago, I decided to go despite all that has occurred in recent times. I met him in Town as arranged and he arrived (a fashionable 10 minutes late) just as it began to snow.
So we walk down the road, him taking the lead because I suggested we could go somewhere he knows, the snow falling and small talk being had. It could have been a bit more romantic if I hadn’t been ridiculously under-dressed, thus freezing, and thinking “oh crap; snow. The hair! The hair!!” (this is the point where anyone who knows me falls about laughing).
We eventually find a pub and he sits us down right next to the toilets – nice! – before we proceed to chat about this and that and slowly, slowly, discover we pretty much hold opposite views about every little thing and that we don’t really get on.
The irony is that for all of this I found myself having a pretty good time. Here he was, someone I was not ‘clicking’ with on any level, and with whom I was under no circumstances going to sleep. Yet for all the dour cynicism of the Scotsman named ‘A’, for all his inability to have a nice word to say anything, and for all his inability to keep his eyes off the other guys in the bar (oh, and for all I was thinking “26? Are you sure?”) I did enjoy myself.
Why?
Because this was exactly what I needed. I want to date, and I had me a date. A couple of hours, a couple of drinks, a chat, a realisation that it wasn’t going anywhere, and us parting on good terms - me to go home, him to get chips apparently (you can take the boy out of Glasgow…). Yet strangely exceedingly pleasant!!
And for the next time, I’m going to the gym more, buying new, better clothes and being a bit more circumspect about picking up men online. Yep, going to do at least two of those things...
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